Advertisements
I gave my second child up for adoption 15 years ago. I managed with the use of drugs to avoid feeling whatsoever for the first 5 years. Once I quit that I would only allow myself to feel a little. Here I am 15 years later, thinking all is well. I now have a sweet little baby and have a flood of emotions, anxiety, depression. I finally realized to day that I need to grieve my loss. I am so overwhelmed with emotions. I need Advice with letting go and moving on.
Like
Share
Advertisements
First off ((((HUGS)))) Secondly, I believe you need to grieve as it appears that you never did when you first placed due to the drug use. I think that finding a good counsellor or a good therapist would be very helpful. Support groups either in real life or places such as this on the internet. Do you have any contact with your placed child?
I think most women go through a lot of emotions when having a second child after giving up the first..
I sure did..
So my suggestion would be.. keep telling yourself that this is normal.. and it can be worked through..
Did you go into any kind of program after you stopped using drugs?
Jackie
I am currently in therapy for PPD which I think may have resulted from not dealing with the loss. I do have contact as my sister adopted him. I have kept a distance as to not have to feel. I did not go into a program, I just stopped. I have a therapy appointment today and it will be my first time talking about this. Hope I feel better afterwards.
Therapy is a wonderful thing IMO.
It gave me a chance to finally talk with someone about how difficult my loss was.. To shed a tear..
I am sitting here reminded about how I felt when I had my daughter ten years after I relinquished.. How awful I felt and how ‘less than’ I felt..
Grief is such a good thing.. Grief is something we learn how to cope with how to deal with.. how to process and come out the other side of..
I remember someone said to me once.. “You are where you are supposed to be.”
I hope you stay with us.. by sharing what you are going through may help others..
Jackie
Advertisements