Struggles

January 18, 2008

Okay, so my husband and I are trying very hard to pay off his truck right now (which should be paid off by next month) and then save up for our adoption agency fees afterward. I swear we keep getting setbacks right and left though. Three months ago, right after I paid off my 2003 Toyota, I had to replace both struts which cost me around $700. Today, we started the car and the starter is grinding so I need a new starter now which will be around $700 too. I feel like we are never going to be able to save enough, and our final homestudy visit is tomorrow 290 miles away and now we have to rent a car and we should be certified within the next two months, which means we'll be out there for the birthmothers to choose us and who knows how little or long that will take...I'm so upset right now, and my husband doesn't understand why, but I just see it as a setback in having children or a future financial struggle, and he's just so calm about it, but it's like, what's next, what will we have to pay when his truck is paid off. Has anyone had to deal with this and if so, how did you handle it? Thanks

tobyandcoco

January 21, 2008

Mandie-First, sorry that you're so frustrated right now, it is totally understandable. Guys just don't get it sometimes, so it's ok that you feel this way and your husband is more concerned about who's going to win the superbowl (or, wait, is that my husband?) We're not in the exact same situation, you are actually further along in the process than we are....but, my dh doesn't want to start right now because he wants to save more money, do more home improvements, etc. I don't really have any advice-just to tell you that you're not alone. I keep thinking to myself...there is a reason for it all (the delay in starting, extra bills, etc.), and I feel like I'd give anything to know the reason.....but....something inside says that the day I hold my baby with be all the reason in the world why we started on THIS day for THIS bmom for THIS baby. Good luck....

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streetalk

February 24, 2008

Mandie

We have had the same thing happen to us. Funny thing the struts went on our toyota camry too.lol But we decided that saving money was not going to happen. So what we did is take out a home equity line of credit on our house. That way we can pay it off a little at a time. Also there are grants that you can get for adopting a child. I'm still lookin into that too. I know how you feel so just hang in there. Hope this helped.:eyebrows:

zempagirl

February 26, 2008

Mandie.,

Its always scary in the beginning when you think about money. We only had about half saved when started the process and the meantime we were trying to pay things off as fast we could. In the end we had to take out a loan out of my 401k. Then we you finally get to use your adoption tax credit you get a good amount of money back, so that helped us out a lot. I would say save what you can and remember there is always home equity loans, 401k loans, or personal loans you can take out. Good luck!

mandiedandie

February 27, 2008

Thank you all for your replies, I greatlt appreciated the support. I am not freaking out anymore, I did seriously have a meltdown at that point though (hehe). The car starter ended up being fine...it just stopped doing it and hasn't done it at all for the past month. Weird, but good! My husband's dad offered to let us borrow/have half of our agency fee and my parents offered to let us borrow the other half. We have saved up enough at this point to pay for a lawyer, the birthmother counseling, and the birthmother expenses we have set as us being comfortable with. We also paid off my husband's truck, so we now have two paid off cars, and we will be able to put $1,000 a month into savings from this point on. So, it's all working out. I guess it always does. Now we just need our baby! :) Thanks again!

marvylus

March 19, 2008

I know all too well the financial and emotional stress of trying to adopt while everything else seems to be breaking down! We did it tho. Started a home business. We did so well with it that we endedup with 2 adoptions in ONE year!(one private and one thru the foster system). Now, 2 years later we are in the paperchase for our 3rd (going international this time). Of course, everything is breaking again!! I just found out last week that our rental house has major foundation problems (~15K)!!

THIS time however, it is NOT stressing me out. I still only do the biz parttime, but have plenty of residual income coming in that the adoption is already fully financed and I just dipped into the reserves to fix the foundation.

Find what works for you. For some it is loans, others credit cards, for many of us we dig deep and pull off another job. If you want to know more about what I did, email me.

No matter what it is NOT easy, but well worth it. Just find what works for you.

HTH