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Originally Posted By Ryan
I would like to know if there is anyone out there with information, resources or personal experiences with a child who was born as the result of rape. Should the parents (mother or adoptive parents) tell the child the truth? How would the child likely react? If the child should know the truth, when should it be made known to the child? etc... Any information that you have would be helpful.
Thank you.
A child should always know the TRUTH.When they are old enough to ASK,that is when you tell them.
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Originally Posted By Cindy
I think I would tell my child the truth. It's nothing to be ashamed of since you had no choice.
Originally Posted By gina
I am a now 33 year old transracial adoptee. My birth mother was raped by a group of 5 men at a party when she was 19. I always knew I was adopted...and my mother would tell me bits and pieces about the little she knew...and that it would probably be impossible for me to do a search and find my birth father. I think I was around 13 or 14 when she told me. I actually had figured it out by then anyway...and asked her if that was how I was conceived. It really was not at all traumatic for me to learn this. In my adulthood, I have an increased respect for my birth mom for going through with a pregnancy that must have been additionally traumatic for her.
I think my mom did a good job of handing this. I think it needs to be told in an honest way, and in a way that the child doesn't feel somehow that they carry a "rapist" gene or that it is something that the child has to hide...or feel shame/liability issues(as I've heard less possitive stories from other children of rape).
Best wishes!
Adoption and Loss: The Hidden Grief, by Evelyn Burns Robinson would be a good book to read for this situation. I found it used at amazon.com