How far would you go? Adoptees

Ultimately, I think it's up to you. I am hestitant about doing anything that may hurt my birthfamilly in any way. Your family may love the idea you are looking for them, or maybe they felt they had a good reason for what they did, and this will just cause them more pain to have things so public. Sometimes, I think we as adoptees get too far caught up in the idea that it's all about what we want and need and forget their are real people with feelings and fears on the other side. Are there less drastic options available to you? What have you tried so far in your search?

I understand what your are saving and it would not be my intentions to hurt anyone. Unfortunately, I feel as though I have searched for 18 years and am now 36 years old and the state that I live in gives you few options. I have resources to pay for attorneys to just ask if a judge will release my records and even attorneys won't even ask.... They won't even attempt it. I do feel like it should be done in the correct way but everything has been a dead end. So, yes I agree that many adoptees are self involved and maybe to some degree I am too but like everyone else I am searching for my full bio sibling who may or may not even know I exist. Would I like to do something like lobby to have the ridiculous law changed, of course but even that seems like a monumental task. So, going publically is not something I would do but sometimes I believe that things are not going to change until there is more awareness and not a soul I have ever talked to has not understood me wanting to have my brother reunited with myself when at the end of the day we had no say in the fact that the state seperated us.

Here is our brief story of Search and Reunion. We were fortunate enough to be put in contact with two wonderful Search Angels from another site. We worked very hard together for seven months. We each had our roles in the search, since one had the tools (Angels) and I had access to the resources (living in the same county my Fiancee' was Adopted in). They trained us in what to do and we went from knowing absolutely nothing, to knowing everything but a birth name and birth mother's name. We faught Social Workers all last Summer, sending in applications, then follow-up calls and then it came down to going in face to face to meet her, on two separate occasions. It was very tough stuff. Hitting a brick wall and getting no where for several months. It was so very discouraging, being so close but yet so far from getting the TRUTH. Then one day, I woke up and decided to hire a Private Investigator to finish our Search. It was VERY expensive but they had our case completed within fourteen hours!! It took until late the next day before we received our information, waiting for the money to transfer to their account. He now has been in the Reunion Process for the past five months and has been accepted into his Biological Family life. His BMom told him today for the first time, "that she loved him alot." This whole story is something truly unique I think and our lives will have forever changed. Please be careful how you approach your Search. The wrong approach can make your search and reunion go sour real fast. Desperation will make us do anything but yet we do have to respect the other half of the Adoption Triad feelings. This is not only about the Adoptee but the Birth Mother as well. Trust me, I do know this, as his Birth Mom has asked us, Not to do certain things in the reunion of his half siblings. We promised from the beginning to respect her feelings and we will. Search and Reunion is very sensitive stuff, for everyone involved and needs to be done in a respectable manner, where you are respected in the end by your birth mother.