Failed Adoptions

sry for your failed adoptions as a fellow christian i would say from my own experience ....Gods timing not ours remember to pray constantly for the child you will be able to love just curious how many years you have been waiting for a child God does hear your prayers and wants to give you the desires of your heart be patient sometimes God comes through at the very last when we dont understand why be encouraged:grouphug:

I am so sorry for your losses. Prayer, prayer and more prayer, after all, sometimes we need to lean only on God. You may experience a renewed faith, love and compassion for other's going through this similar situation. Out of this may come your answers and you may even want to start your own support group. Pray without cease, and pray for Gods' will to be done in your life, for he knows the plans he has for us. Prayers & (((HUGS)))

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][/FONT] I am so sorry to hear of your failed adoption attempts! My husband and I have also had a failed adoption recently and not really any positive support, either. I don't mind sharing a little about our experience with you in hopes that it will help you out. She was a wonderful girl, but she wanted to get out of the state's custody so she could go and find her bio mother. We only were with her for a short time, but we learned alot about adoption of an older child, alot about ourselves, and about what we really wanted. I am grateful to her and thankful for the time that we were able to spend with her, even though I know that it wasn't meant to be. I know that God will work things out in His perfect timing and that things just don't work out the way you want them too when you go off trying to make things work on your own. That is what I believe that I did~ I got impatient for a daughter and decided to go get one myself instead of relying on God and waiting for Him to work things out in His perfect timing. I still miss her alot and pray for her everyday. I've written her letters, but not heard back from her. I wish we could've had more support from family, but they were like well we're glad that's over. They never even met her! I would feel better if I could hear from her. She probably doesn't even know what happened! She didn't do anything wrong, it just wasn't what God has planned! I'm still praying for a daughter and praying for patience to wait until things happen in God's perfect timing and the way He plans for this daughter to join our family of boys!

Thank you Tiger for your openness and sharing your heart~ it helps, I guess I didn't make myself clear for some others in my original post. I and my family are fine and realize that God is in control and all in His timing. We are confident that our family is where it needs to be in numbers. My request like you have so kindly shared is to learn from others on THEIR failed adoptions so I can create some ministry tools to train others how to minister to those families that have experienced a failed adoption. I know the hurts and frustrations, but for me to have a general consensus, I need to hear from others that have experienced the same in any form i.e... foster care to adoption, new born adoption, open/closed etc... Any information would be helpful.

God bless you in your quest.... saying a prayer for you

Although we hadn't entered foster parenting to adopt, we fell in love with our first little one. She was a legal risk child and things looked good for us to adopt. It will be 1 yr since we lost her on June 12. I am dreading that day. What I wish I had? People who understood that losing her felt exactly like a death. Folks who would listen when I talked and not presume to tell me it was for the best or that I'd only had her just a few months and I'd get over it soon. Ministerial support that could understand exactly how raw that wound was. Most of all, I wish that I could have had someone around who experienced that loss. Never having had a miscarriage, I would never compare my loss to that one, but oddly, I find kinship with women who share that loss with me. I can never know what happens to my little girl. I would love to know how to find peace with THAT. And I would love support for my wonderful husband who doesn't have even the minimal societal permission I have to grieve openly. People should know that the grieving is not linear, but rather jagged. There are days when I'm fine and then something trivial sets me off. My husband has the same reaction. I have strong faith, but it still tears at my heart. I wish that people would understand that my grieving the loss of my little girl wasn't a lack of faith in my God. It is grief and I have the right to my pain. Let me feel it as it comes so that I can move through it in time. I pray you find all that you need to bring you through this refiner's fire. Exactly what you are being burnished for only God knows.

Forms of hope and help come in many ways. I have some wild up n down stories to share with you. Would you tell me more about the "support materials" you propose? This is my first posting ever. I registered just to respond to this courious quest of yours Minister. Thanks:

I too have recently suffered a failed adoption, everything went perfectly with the couple and we were just waiting for our son to be born and then he came, he was born on the 29th at 2:29am he was a perfect little baby and fell in love with him instantly and they were still calling him our son, and then at 9:30 am they sent us a text message saying that they regret to inform us that they are backing out, and yes it felt like not only i had died but that my son had just died, i mean i had just had him in my arms and fed him and bathed him, and we're still coping from our loss, i still have yet to go back into work, and we havent told our family yet, so yeah when people say "oh im so sorry, but you'll have another baby, you have another chance" people don't understand how hard it is to adopt i mena some plaes its near impossible, i guess all i can say for someone grieving is to just be there and listen to them vent out their frustrations, and tell them not to give up hope, that is really all you can do