Formal letter of complaint (VERY LONG)

I know you guys have been wondering whats been going on since my 8/o tried to kill the cat a couple of weeks ago. I am now submitting a formal letter of complaint. It is attached with all identifying info X'd out. Thats the story and I want to know what you guys think... Should I add or remove anything? Did I run on too much?? Here goes... To Whom it May Concern, I am writing this letter as a submission of formal complaint against State of Maine Division of Health and Human Services Child Protective Services Caseworker, X X. Mrs. X is the Child Protective Services caseworker for 4 children that have been placed in my home. Out of the four children, one remains in my home, two have been reunited with family, and one remains in foster care in another foster home. Mrs. X has always been very professional and tactful in her interactions with me until the events that lead up to this complaint. On Monday, February 4, 2008, I submitted a formal letter of removal to Mrs. X regarding one of the children in my care. The child, hereafter acknowledged as K.I., had become increasingly aggressive towards the younger children placed in my home, and on February 3, 2008, K.I. attempted to harm one of my cats. On the morning in which I submitted the letter of removal, K.I. punched my 3 year old foster son J.J. in the face, bloodying his nose. A copy of the aforementioned removal letter is attached. On February 4, 2008 K.I. was admitted to the crisis unit located in X, Maine. While there the first week, he had minor issues, but his behavior was stable and they had no serious concerns. On February 11, 2008, a plan for rapid reunification was unveiled with the support of everyone involved in the Family Team Meeting. X called me on the morning of the meeting to give me a heads upӔ about what would be spoken about because she felt as if I would not be supportive of it. At the meeting I let them know that I was supportive of K.I.s reunification. X X (supervisor to X X) asked me if I would allow K.I. to transition from my home. I told her that I would do so, providing that his behavior remained stable. On this same day, K.I. was visited at the crisis unit by his mother. His mother told him of the reunification plan. Upon her departure, K.I. called me on the phone crying. When I asked him why, he couldnҒt give me an answer. After this day, K.I.s behavior took a turn for the worse. I visited him on February 12, 2008. While I was there, K.I. was very rude to me, very rude to staff, and was just blatantly disrespectful. I was pulled into an impromptu meeting with staff and was told about some of his behaviors. The most disturbing being his regression back to behaviors that he exhibited when he first was placed into my home (March 1, 2007). I was told about his bold usage of very disturbing, racial terms without any remorse or regard for any other children or adults at the crisis unit (including visitors). Before I left, I told him that I would see him later. I needed to process what I heard and how I felt about it and I also needed to let him process his feelings regarding the reunification. After I left the meeting, I called Mrs. X and spoke to her about what was occurring at the Crisis Unit and how I felt about it. During the remainder of that week I received calls from staff regarding K.I.Ғs behavior. It had become increasingly worse. On Thursday, February 14, 2008, I received a message from the staff regarding a discharge meeting for K.I.. The meeting was initially planned for Tuesday, February 19, but because of a previous engagement I advised them that I would not be able to attend unless it was moved. The were able to move the meeting to Wednesday, February 20, 2008. On Saturday, February 16, 2008, I received a call from a staff member regarding K.I.s behavior. I spoke with the staff person at length regarding the behavior. She expressed to me that K.I. had gotten increasingly worse with his behavior, his reactions... his conduct had become worse overall.. She stated that she did not feel that he was ready for discharge, especially to a place where there were younger children. She asked me if I had any ideas as to what they could do to curb his behavior, as nothing she did seemed to work. I expressed to her that I had never seen him act the way that she was describing to me. And that I could not help her in that regard. I also expressed to her that I was not sure if I would be able to parent K.I.. On Wednesday, February 20, 2008, I attended the discharge meeting. Before the meeting began, I voiced my concerns to the clinician and K.I..Ғs mother.. Mrs. X had not arrived as of yet. Upon her arrival, they began to talk about discharging K.I. to my home. K.I. was brought into the meeting. As they were discussing his discharge, I asked Mrs. X if I could talk to her in the hallway. She came into the hallway, and I proceeded to tell her that I did not confidently feel as if I could parent K.I. effectively with all of his recent behaviors. I was very concerned about the well being of the children in my home. She did not allow me to finish my thought. She told me that it would be okay and to talk to K.I. and tell him how I felt about his behavior. She said that she did not believe that K.I. would act that way in my home, as he had not acted that way previously. She then went back into the meeting without hearing what else I had to say. I took a moment to compose myself before I reentered the meeting. As the meeting progressed, nothing that was said changed the way that I felt in regards to parenting K.I.. After K.I.s mother finished speaking to him, the clinician asked me if I had anything to say. I said no and that I was sure that his mother had said any and every thing that I would have said. They then proceeded to sign the discharge papers. After the papers were signed by Mrs. X, they gave me the papers for review. I reviewed the paperwork and placed it back on the table. At this time, Mrs. X asked K.I. and his mother to leave the room. She then told the clinician about what I said in the hallway. At this time, I further expressed my concern for the other children and animals in my home. I told them that with his recent behaviors and issues, I did not feel that I could parent him safely and effectively with my other children. I expressed this to them numerous times. They kept looking to me for an answer, and I kept telling them that I at least needed some time to think it over before I gave them a firm decision. I am sure that I made that statement at least 20 times. It got to the point that I looked at the both of them and told them ғI dont know what you want me to say, as IҒve said it over and over and its becoming redundant. I cannot give you an answer right now. I am feeling pressured to give you an answer and that is not fair to me.Ҕ The clinician responded, With all due respect, Ms. X, you knew about this meeting since Thursday.Ӕ I responded to him, With all due respect to you, sir, I also received a call on Saturday describing K.I.Ӓs further decline in behavior. Apparently, the clinician knew nothing of the call I received on Saturday. To that, Mrs. X tells me, ԓWell, take five (!!!) Minutes to take a walk and think about it and then come back with an answer. IԒm thinking to myself Five minutes???ђ I went and took some time and thought about it and I came to a decision. When I walked back into the room, I asked Mrs. X to give me 48 hours. I asked her to find respite for him for two days and on Friday, after careful consideration, I would have an answer for her. She agreed. On Friday, February 22, 2008, I called Mrs. X at 1:51PM to advise her that I decided to not allow K.I. to return to my home. She was not available at this time. However, I left her a message asking her to return my call. I did not leave my decision on her answering machine. I called her again at 4:13PM. She answered and I let her know my decision. Her response to my decision is the cause of this complaint. After I let her know my decision, she proceeded to tell me that shed expected this from me all along as IҒd asked for K.I.s removal from my home on previous occasions. I told her that was true. I had, indeed, asked for his removal on a prior occasion when the circumstances with this biological family were causing them to make false allegation against me. I requested his removal saying that if they felt that he was in danger, than to please move him. When IҒd requested his removal before, it wasnt done out of anger or otherwise. When I requested his removal, X X asked me to think about it for one night and to call her in the AM to see if I felt the same. When I called her the next morning, I DID feel the same. She convinced me to keep him by telling me that the case was nearing itҒs end and at the end of the day, its not my parenting skills that are in question, it is the biological parents skills. Mrs. X then went on to belittle me in other ways as well. She would not allow me to get a word in edgewise. She was very loud on the phone. Loud to the point that my 16 y/o foster daughter, X.X. could hear her voice on my cell phone from across the room inside of a preschool. She went on to tell me that I was ғmad because K.I. says the word Nixxer (she knows how I feel about that), but so what (so what?). She tried to use the reverse psychology method by saying that I promised that I would always be dedicated to him. Yes, I dedicate myself to all my children. When their behavior becomes dangerous to the other children in my home, my animals, or myself, I must make difficult decisions as to whether or not I can meet their needs and parent them safely and effectively. She goes on to ask me about my 3 y/o foster/adoptive son J.J.. She asks me, and I quote, ԓIf J.J. punches a kid in the face, what are you going to do, throw him out, too? First of all, K.I. is 8. J.J. is 3. K.I. punched J.J. in the face and made his nose bleed for no apparent reason. I asked Mrs. X what her reaction would be if an 8 year old punched her 2 year old daughter. To this she had no answer. She then goes on to tell me that I need to separate the way I feel about the situation from the way I feel about K.I.. She showed absolutely no concern for the well being of the other children in my home (ages 1, 2, 3, and 16). I know that my 16 year old is capable of basically maintaining herself, but she does not need to be subject to K.I.Ԓs behaviors, either. She then proceeds to say to me once again, You got mad at K.I. for saying the word Nixxer, when you are a racist yourselfӔ. This perked my ears up quite a bit, as I am an African American female living a mostly Caucasian state. Out of all of my children, only one is of color and that is because he is a relative of mine. When I asked her to elaborate, she tells me When the clinician asked you to describe the person that made the call to you because you could not remember their name, you used the term ӓChinky eyes. That is a racial slurԔ. I looked at the phone in disbelief at what Id just heard and went on to tell her that where I am from (New Jersey), the term ғChinky is used as a descriptive term to describe the slant in a persons eyes. I, myself, have been described as having ԓChinky eyes, as well as every other female member of my family. That aside, I have NEVER been told that the term ԓChinky was a derogatory term, however, the word Nixxer (which was said to me more than once in this conversation) is a derogatory term universally. I did not want to go into this conversation any further than I already had. I was working on a project in a preschool with my 16y/o foster daughter. I ended the conversation by asking her what she was going to do regarding K.I.Ԓs clothing. She said that it would be worked out next week. I then ended the conversation. Earlier in the day, my foster daughter told me about a conversation that shed had with Mrs. X on Wednesday morning (prior to the discharge meeting). She told me that Mrs. X asked her if she thought that I would let K.I. come home with me. My foster daughter told me that she felt uncomfortable with the questions that Mrs. X was asking her. My foster daughter told me that she told Mrs. X no because the house had been a lot calmer, things were very smooth, there was no arguing, and no tension. She said that Mrs. X went on to tell her that it didnҒt matter because K.I. was coming home anyway. This inappropriate conversation goes to show that Mrs. X had some doubt as to whether or not I would allow K.I. to return to my home. I feel that my foster daughter should not have been subject to trying to put into words the way I feel when she has a hard enough time putting into words the way she feels.. Instead of having this conversation with my 16 y/o before the meeting, she should have been having this conversation with me. Throughout this discharge process I have been made to feel as if it was my duty to disregard the well being of the vulnerable children in my home to accommodate Mrs. X. To be further disrespected and belittled was completely unjustified. To be called a racist, however, is unacceptable. I look forward to a reply and a resolution to this issue and will wait until April 1, 2008 before seeking legal counsel. Please contact me at the above address or by phone at any time to discuss this matter. Sincerely, X.X. What do you guys think??? I will be submitting this both by email and in writing. I will be submitting it to my licensing worker and will allow her to take it from there... It has been a stressful week... Let me know what you think...