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Our older son, age 4 and adopted at 2.5, has started doing something we don't understand with my husband. When DH asks him to stop doing something, or to please follow instructions, and our kid doesn't want to, he'll start by just whining repeatedly, I don't want to, and then it becomes a power struggle, and our son works himself up into a frenzy. Since he never does this with me, I can't explain it, but DH describes him as becoming manic, and he'll laugh hysterically and will run away and not listen. It's as if he disappears mentally, and there's just this maniacal kid that looks nothing like ours. Eventually he comes back, but by then he has worn himself out completely.
We will be asking our therapist about this, but do any of your children do the same? And any idea why he'd react to my husband like that but not to me? He's not always crazy about my directions or questions, but he's never been that oppositional.
Our 5 year old "rad"ish does this only at school or with a sitter. He gets completely out of control and runs around. He pushes things off tables/counters. He laughs at everyone who tries to stop him. We have thought it is anxiety about being away from me. Our therapist agrees. It is like he goes into overdrive when he is scared. I am no help but I can certainly sympathize. Good luck and let me know if you find a solution.
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We see this type of behavior with our oldest fs (3). He and his two siblings were abused terribly by their father and we think that when our fs acts out with my husband it is because DH is the "representative male authority figure" in his life right now.
This type of behavior to us seems like a dissociative state and related to anxiety. He is totallt "checked out" and unreachable."
It usually happens at our house after visitation with the bf. Also my fs has a really hard time accepting DH instructing or reprimanding him. He doesn't challenge me nearly as often or with such stubborn determination.
Its really sad, because just when it seems that there is progress being made, they go for another visitation and we are back into the throes of battle once again.
Le us know what your therapist has to say. We have our first appointment with the play therapist on Weds.