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I posted about our nice day on Sunday in the "LIVING IN AN OPEN ADOPTION" forum. Short version, we had a visit w/ H's bmom & her family at the park---it was a really nice day and H flew his first kite w/ M's dad. M and bdad are not together and haven't been since long before H's birth. Their parents don't really know each other at all, but everyone in our adoption knows that the relationship is open w/ both bparents and their families, and everyone's OK w/ that. I get along well w/ bdad's stepmother, S. She's usually my point of contact w/ bdad's side because she's got e-mail. Yesterday, M sent me some wonderful photos of H and her father flying the kite. I routinely share cute photos of H w/S (bdad's stepmom) or e-mail funny stories as they occur---just as I do w/ other friends or M's family. I don't know if I've ever sent a photo w/ anyone from M's family in it. Probably not. This was just such a cute photo of H, w/ pure delight on his face that I sent it to her. This is the first time she's ever not replied right away. I'm a little worried that I shouldn't have sent a photo that had anyone from M's family in it. What do you guys think? Did I goof here? Bparents, would you be upset to get a photo of your placed child w/ someone from the "other side"?
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Here's the thing about open adoption.....it's about the child. The reality is that your child has two sides of birthfamilies.
Would you not send pictures of your parents with H to your dh's parents?
They are adults - if they have an issue with it, they need to grow up.
As H gets older, he shouldn't have to worry about what he says to one side or the other - or what he does with one side or the other....
They are equal parts of his life - this is their problem (if it's even a problem at all) not yours.
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I wouldn't worry about it.
But to be fair, I can see not really caring too much about that picture. I see pictures of my ex's family with kiddo all the time. I'll look at them, but I don't want to keep any of them. I guess I don't really care too much about them, but then things ended REALLY badly with my ex.
