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I have been in email contact with my DD for a couple of months now. We had been exchanging emails almost daily and after last week------Nothing!!!:hissy:
Now she is only 22 and has a life--so what makes me think that this lack of contact is anything but her being busy with her life?? But it the back of my mind I keep thinking. IS IT ME??? What did I say? I read and reread my last couple of emails... I don't think I said anything inappropriate???
Then I think why is this taking over my mind. Can't I just be happy she is safe and has had a good life?? I can't hardly focus on anything but the thought that I may have said something that made her mad!!! I sure hope not.
OH I hate this emotional coaster--When can I get off. I think I am going to PUKE--- I get motion sickness and this is just making me scared. This fear that I will lose her again.
Thanks for listening, You guys sure help- when no one else understands. :loveyou:
If you're crazy, then I'll be in good company.
I feel EXACTLY the same way about my daughter if I don't hear from her within a couple of days. But then she and I have had a rocky reunion. It could be that you guys are starting to "settle in" to your life relationship. I'm so happy that things have gone so well for you two.
Maybe send her an e-mail greeting card or forward a funny e-mail to her--no message, but letting her know you're thinking of her. Keeping things light are always better...
In the meantime, rent a movie (or 10) to distract you.
Hope you hear from her soon! :cheer:
soprano
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Stacy, I've gone through the same sorts of things with my 23 year old son!
After the honeymoon period things really cooled off.
It's quite ok right now.
I guess I send pictures of his 1/2 sisters if I'm feeling neglected!
I am also certain that I've sent emails saying 'Hey, did I upset you with my last email?' but I'm pathetic that way.
:arrow:
Cute card sounds like a fab idea!:cheer:
And I'm SURE she's just busy and when she's sat at the computer hasn't thought about writing...or feels she has nothing new to say right now!
(I don't think they understand that WE think about THEM ALL THE TIME!:love: )
YAY I heard from her last night and it was that she was just busy living life.
You are right Quantum I son't think they get that they are always on our mind. It is just weird to everyone they just don't get it.
So I guess I need to get over myself and quit thinking that everything is because of Me. She has a life!! And I am happy about that. I just need to learn to be more patient.
Thanks so much everyone. I love this forum!!
I have to remind myself when I don't get updates that my son is young and living his life. I also think back when I was in my early 20s. I really didn't want to be around my mom that much, I wanted to be out with friends, dating, clubbing, living my indpendent life, etc. I would be willing to bet your child isn't even hanging around her aparents all that much, so it stands to reason that she is out living her life, having fun, and preferring to be with her peers overall, and not offended at anything you did or said. Pretty much normal, young-adult behaviour! And again, I'll bet her aparents are thinking they don't hear from her enough either.
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Can I join everybody here in the waiting room, lol?!! I sent my son an email about a week and a half ago, and I still haven't heard back from him. I'm trying not to read anything into it. Chances are he's just busy, preoccupied, or procrastinating. Still, it's kind of nerve wracking.
The weird thing is I don't constantly check my email when I'm waiting and waiting for a reply. If anything, I wait longer than I normally do before opening my mail program. I guess I just don't want to deal with the disappointment. Crazy, huh?!! :arrow:
Hi everyone! I'm in the same boat, always seem to be waiting and I'm so thankful for Hallmark for all those "creative" holidays that I can use as an excuse to stay in touch.
I don't think our children are ignoring us but rather they're just busy being young. Unfortunately, my raised daughters are constantly texting/e-mailing me but we've always been chatty so it's been an adjustment but just when I fell like throwing in the towel I'll log in to send an e-mail to someone else and boom there it is - his response.
I'm hoping I can wait here with everyone else!
Hi, Kate! I just went out today and bought a bunch of "Thinking of You" cards at the local Hallmark store, lol! I'm sure you're right ~ they're just busy being young. I don't know why it bothers me...my brother is lousy at returning email (and phone calls, too!), but I never worry that he's going to disappear from my life. Come to think of it, a lot of guys I've known thru the years have been horrible about staying in touch with their mothers. Maybe it's not so much a reunion issue as it's a young-person or "guy" problem... :prop:
Oh, I totally think it's a "guy thing." Not saying there aren't chatty guys or more quiet girls out there, but typically, most moms I know with boys don't have the same level of communication they do with their girls.
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Well, I finally heard back from my son! He sent a long, chatty email last night. Turns out, he was pretty sick for a couple weeks. He had to have a root canal (yuck!), and then he contracted a really bad infection that spread to his jaw (osteomyelitis). I really freaked out when I read that part because I lost a good friend a couple years ago after the infection from her abcessed tooth went to her heart valves. (Do NOT ever take a tooth infection lightly!)
Anyway, I feel kind of silly now that I jumped to conclusions and thought his not responding to my last email had something to do with me. I need to keep reminding myself not to assume how my son is feeling about our relationship. I need to take my ego out of this thing called reunion...
i still find myself reacting like this after 11yrs in reunion with my daughter! Drives my hubby nuts!
Susie
Raven, so glad you heard from your son. Waiting is awful. I'm so sorry to hear he had such a rough time after his root canal. My brother also got osteomylitis in his jaw a few years ago - awful.
susieloo
i still find myself reacting like this after 11yrs in reunion with my daughter! Drives my hubby nuts!
Susie
Susie, I hear you! Eighteen years in reunion, and I still jump to conclusions when I don't hear from my son in a timely fashion. Oddly enough, I think I've become more insecure (at times) about our relationship since I've joined the forums here. I had never heard the term "pullback" until I became a forum member, and now I tend to expect "pullback" to be lurking behind every corner. In reality, the recent insecurity I've been feeling is most likely due to the fact that DS had cut off our relationship for about six months. Now that we've reconciled, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's probably just going to take some time...something we bmoms are great at! :arrow:
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taramayrn
Raven, so glad you heard from your son. Waiting is awful. I'm so sorry to hear he had such a rough time after his root canal. My brother also got osteomylitis in his jaw a few years ago - awful.
Tara, yep, the waiting is always hard. I've known several people in the last couple years to end up with osteomyelitis in their jaws from tooth infections. It's really scary to me; I kind of wonder whether this infection is increasing in the population, like MRSA (methicillin-resistant staph aureus, or the "super bug") seems to be doing. I'm glad your brother is okay; from how my son described it, the jaw infection is really painful.
We had a patient who let a tooth absess go too long and he ended up with an infection that went to his brain and he did not make it through!! Never let a tooth go!!!