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Hi there,
I'm new here and new to adoption. We have one biological daughter who is 3 and I did successfully breastfeed her.
We are adopting a new baby that due May 3...we have our fingers crossed that the birth mom and birth dad don't change their minds.
I really want to breastfeed this new baby too. I am just starting to research it. Hopefully I haven't waited too long. You know, I hope it is not gross to say it but I still have a teeny tiny bit of milk that leaks out and I stopped breastfeeding my daughter in Oct '05 so I am hoping that that will make it all the easier to come in this time.
For some reason I feel really really uncomfortable with the birth parents knowing that I am going to breastfeed. I don't plan on telling them. I guess my thinking is I will be this child's mother and it is my decision. It is going to be an open adoption but the visitation will only be like 2 times a year (I think...not all details worked out yet). I am just wondering what you think of that? Do you think that is wrong not to tell them.... I don't know why I feel uncomfortable with the thoughts of them knowing...maybe because they are so young and it is such a private matter. I would love to hear others peoples thoughts on this.
Thanks so much
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As a firstmom, I personally would want to know...I realize that it's not my decision to make and that it's a parenting decision that after TPR is signed would certainly be yours, but I think I would still appreciate being told. Especially because it feels like it's something you want to hide, and for me, that's just not a way that I would be comfortable with my OA starting.
For the record though, I think it's totally fine that you want to breastfeed your child! I know some bmoms that were totally thrilled that their childs Mom breastfed, while I know others that pumped and delivered their own breastmilk to the aparents. Emom might be completely supportive of your decision and it could bring you all closer as you enter OA!
Have you discussed if emom will be nursing in the hospital? This may be a way to begin the discussion should you decide to disclose.
**And just FYI, they aren't birthparents yet. Right now they are just parents expecting a child (eparents, emom, etc.) They remain parents until they sign TPR**
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I don't feel that it's anyone's bussiness to feel like you should or shouldn't tell. This will be your child. I think it's a good decision and it is a more private matter. I wouldn't tell the birth parents that you plan to breastfeed your child if it makes you uncomfortable.
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