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I know there is lots of controversay and much debate over Birthmother's Day. I would like to hear your opinions on it. Do you agree there should be a day to acknowledge our experience? Or do you believe we should only be acknowledged on Mother's Day?
I'll share my thoughts on it later.
I have mixed feelings about this. I am attending a bmother's celebration this year for the first time and am very happy that for the first time in my life as a bmom, I am being publicly acknowledged. OTOH, I feel I am entitled to be acknowledged on Mother's Day itself. Still, OTOH, I really don't like "Hallmark Holidays" in the first place. So my answer really is "I don't know."
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Not big on the Hallmark holiday either, but I personally would like to be acknowledged period, whether it be on B-mom's day or Mothers day :)
Or Flag Day, or Arbor Day... you get the idea!
I'm with you, browneyes! I've been acknowledged 1 year out of the 10 years of reunion (strangely enough, not the first year... but I believe it was the 4th year that I got a card from my daughter). Hasn't happened since, even though I told her how much it meant to me...
Mothers Day for me but I'm from the closed era. Being acknowledged by anyone other than my son kind of makes me uncomfortable. Mother's Day is a day of reflection for me... not as bad as a b-day but you get the idea :)
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I think I can be a Mom all the while still being a birthmom (firstmom, whatev). If DD's Mom was only comfortable with bmothers day I would understand that. DD may grow up choosing one day, either day, neither day, and I'll respect that decision too.
I do wish that I knew of Birthmother Day events in my area because I would like to see how I after experiencing one before I write the day off entirely. I don't want to judge it only to find out that I didn't try to understand it.
sammyhas3
Can't we all just be all just be MOM's
This is so true, too. I used to acknowledge my Aunt on Mother's day (and Hallmark even makes cards for "Special Aunts on Mother's Day.") Why can other important women in our lives be acknowledged on Mother's Day but not Birth Mothers??
browneyes0707
Not big on the Hallmark holiday either, but I personally would like to be acknowledged period, whether it be on B-mom's day or Mothers day :)
Or Flag Day, or Arbor Day... you get the idea!
With you on that Brown.
I wish there was a group that I can get together with other birth/first moms in my area. I am helping a dear friend with hers in South Carolina and soooooooooooooooo wish I could go down there for the weekend.
Just any acknowledgement would be nice.
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It's simple for me. Birthmother's Day is a day for me. It is the day I get to feel sadness and honor the hard stuff about being a birthmom. Mother's day is the day I get to celebrate.
I don't acknowledge birth mother's day in my own experience. I do appreciate others who are able to find solace or (enter emotion here) in the day. Mother's Day is the day that I celebrate for all of my children.
:prop:
bromanchik
It's simple for me. Birthmother's Day is a day for me. It is the day I get to feel sadness and honor the hard stuff about being a birthmom. Mother's day is the day I get to celebrate.
That's exactly how I feel Brenda....
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I don't know if it's my upbringing or what - but I don't celebrate many (any really) holidays...or birthdays.
The "winter holidays" are hard for me - they always have been. We do a tree and get Jer some gifts/etc - and for Jer's birthday, we do something - but everything else is just another day.
John and I just aren't the 'gift exchange' kinda people I guess...which works for us.
So, my vote is 'nay' - but only because I don't celebrate either...
However, if I did - I don't think I would celebrate Birthmothers day...but I couldn't say for sure, having never celebrated either :D
Brandy brings up a good point. Some of it is "family culture". In our family we celebrate everything. When we bury a dead bird, we have a wake. When the first warm day of the year came around we had a "Welcome Spring" party. When Gilmore Girls was on we had both premier and final episode parties (complete with typical Gilmore Girl foods...yum) We are actually very big on celebrating, or commemorating, the non-traditional. So I guess it's no surprise I "do something" for Birthmother's Day.