Just scratching the surface....

I am sorry that so many posts seem sad and negative. For most of us, when things are going really well we don't post... it is when we are overwhelmed that we spill or guts here. This is a safe environment where there are other people that can really understand what we are talking about. My real life friends are great, but they don't really get it. So, here, I will tell you my happy stuff. We have a 12 year old bio son. Our first placement was a 5 year old boy in 2004 that we adopted one year later. He has a lot of special needs (we actually suspect he has asperger's but havent' been able to get a dx), but we can't imagine our lives without him. Our next placement was a 9 1/2 yr old girl in February 2006 that we adopted 10 months later. She is also a very challenging child, but our daughter. The three of them are very much bonded to each other. We have been blessed, because while we do have some issues, they are not insurmountable. Overall, I would say that ours is a success story. There is also a matter of knowing your limits. Since you already have one special needs child you would want to make sure the needs of your adopted child(ren) don't conflict with his. As you may see from our signature, we also have a foster daughter. We had planned to adopt her, but the combination of her special needs and our 8 year old son's just don't work. It is not in the best interest of either of them to continue. Bottom line is, don't let the negative posts scare you off, but do learn from them. Learn what to look for, learn what problems you can handle and what would be too much. Good luck!

I am a person that was adopted at birth with no medical background of my real family. I have a special needs daughter that is 41 and I hope what I am about to share will help some of you new parents that have children with special needs. 1. They love music and it seems to settle them if acting out is a problem. 2. Look for and join an ARC (Association for Retarded Citizens) in your area and attend their parent meetings. This will enable you to meet and exchange ideas with other parents. 3. Have an evaluation of your childs development as early as possible. This will enable you to start working on the things they need the most help with at an early age. 4. When they turn 8 get them involved with special olympics. This gives them peer contact, socialization skills and coordination. We teach handicapable square dancing which really helps their coordination and self esteem. 5. Important always be involved with their activities just like you are with quote your normal children. They have feelings and they will love you unconditionally. 6. Always work on teaching them to be as independ as possible with out fraustrating them as you won't be around all of their lives. 7. If they don't read or write try your best to teach them emergency signs like keep out, poison and so forth. Try teaching them independ travel as they get older such as taking a bus by land marks. They don't read but you teach them by following the bus and even riding the bus with them. You say get on here by a ralph grocery store and a dry cleaner. You get off here by a mobil station and a car wash. You have them carry a card in their wallet by their handicapable bus pass saying I am lost and where to contact you. They show that to the driver and he will help them. 8. Get them an ID braclet showing their name and a contact in case they are loss. 9. Get involved in early intervention programs. If you have any questions please feel free to tread me back as I have been through this for many years and will help where ever I can.