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We've been contracted with our agency's AA program for over 6 months & have gone out on about 20 situations & still have not been chosen. It's so frustrating, I wish there was something we could do to help things move faster. I made our profile with close guidance from the agency "experts", they say it's fine & doesnt need any changes. I talk to the adoption coordinator at least twice a month & she tells me to be patient, that "our" baby isnt here yet. I've repeatedly asked if there's anything I can change in our profile to make it better & she says no. I think the reason we keep getting rejected is that we're a blue collar couple & live in a modest home & we're not super-educated. Also my husband has long hair (in the profile he's dressed in jeans & t-shirts, his tattoos are covered up & his hair is tied back) & I'm very petite & look younger than I am (I'm 28.) I made an effort to dress conservative & look "mom-like" for the profile pictures. We are Christian & very family-oriented with strong values & I tried to make the profile show this. I also included a page of the baby's room & the collection of black dolls waiting for her (I thought the birth mother might like to see that her child will have dolls of her color, we have them from our disrupted adoption, the agency liked this idea too). I hear all these stories about families getting matched so quickly with AA babies & that just hasnt happened for us. Quite frankly I wonder if it'll ever happen or if this is just another dream I'm going to end up having to give up because it's beyond my reach. I've wanted to adopt a black girl since I was 11 or 12 & I've already been through a heartbreaking disruption a year ago. I dont want to give up my dream of being a mother. I feel like we've been waiting a ridiculous amount of time compared to everyone else I know who has adopted an AA baby. I expected it to be longer since we specified a girl, but all the statistics I've read show less than a year is average. Does anyone have any advice on anything we could do to speed the process up or any improvements on our profile? We looked into a lot of agencies & picked the one we felt was the best match for us, they've been great except for the fact that they havent found us a baby. If it matters about 90% of the adopting couples are white. It's not like we can just switch agencies because we paid a lot of money to be contracted to them. How long is too long to wait?
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