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We have had our son since he was 2 days old. We were able to adopt him through foster care at 8 months old. He will be the big "1" in June. Bio Mom signed her rights away back in December when he was 5 months old. She wouldn't attend any of his doctor appointments or surgeries for his medical issues so DCS, CASA, DH, and I were happy when she finally signed her parental rights over. She asked us to adopt him as well which there isn't a day that goes by that I am not thankful to her for. She is a really nice person, but she has a lot of past abuse issues (physical & drug related). Our son is not the only child she has lost to DCS or voluntarily signed over. He is her fourth child. She lost her first two girls because she allowed her boyfriend to physically abuse them and did not report it. Instead she kept them from school so no one could see the bruises and bite marks. The third baby is our son's full blooded sister and she signed her rights over on her when she was only three months old. Bio Mom is known to sleep around quite a bit and I assume she will continue to reproduce children. We want to keep a distant relationship with Bio Mom because this could occur again. She has no open adoption with her other three children and we feel if we keep this open relationship with her she will keep us in mind when she does become pregnant again. We don't wish her to keep having children, but if she is going to continue we want to be notified. Her future pregnancies would be our son's sibilings after all and I sometimes wonder what his sisters are like even though they are in a closed adoption now. I know he will one day wonder as well. We have been sending pictures and email letter updates to Bio Mom so far. She emailed us a few days ago and asked for our address to mail our son a birthday card or present. After talking it over with DH we decided to give her a family member's address. Have any of you had a similar open adoption take place where Bio Mom became pregnant again and asked for you to adopt for the second time? Our we doing the right thing by being so cooperative with giving her our family's address?
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Hi,We adopted our daughter from foster care, parents did not sign away their rights the court did a TPR, our daughters birth mom has had two children since then that we have been contacted about. The first ended up being reunited with his father after he met his case plan. The second we are in the process of waiting for court dates etc. The baby is not placed with us because we live in a different state, but we have completed the ICPC and are just waiting for the courts to decide if they are going to give her services or go straight to adoption. She has had a drug problem for 18 years, but after this baby was born decided to finally enter a rehab facility so we'll see how that goes.We also have a very limited post adoption contract, pictures and letters twice a year. We did get a PO box but we have had problems because I am getting two and three letters a month and they are never appropriate, they have no respect for us as her parents, they act as if we are just the caretakers of their daughter, we have tried to discuss this with them but it falls on deaf ears so consequently I have a shoe box full of letters that I can't read to my young daughter as they would be to confusing for her. We wish we never would have agreed to receiving as well as sending, and if I do it again I will only agree to send pictures and letters twice a year and not welcome anything in return.Joanne
I second a PO Box if anything. Did you get the family member's permission before giving out their address? I hope so. Also, if you don't want to get a PO Box for this person only you could ask a friend who has a PO Box or you could talk to the caseworker/agency that you used for the adoption to allow correspondence to go through their office.
Good Luck!
Kim
momof9wantingmore
We did get a PO box but we have had problems because I am getting two and three letters a month and they are never appropriate, they have no respect for us as her parents, they act as if we are just the caretakers of their daughter, we have tried to discuss this with them but it falls on deaf ears so consequently I have a shoe box full of letters that I can't read to my young daughter as they would be to confusing for her. We wish we never would have agreed to receiving as well as sending, and if I do it again I will only agree to send pictures and letters twice a year and not welcome anything in return.
Joanne