I'm scared

Take it easy, get all of the information you need in order to feel comfortable with your decision. Nothing is a guarantee, so yeah, things may not end up the way that you'd like them to, but whatever happens, raising a child is a blessing like nothing else. And no, you are not alone. Heck, non-adopting parents have huge fears too! Going into the realm of adoption can be a huge change that you have to acclimate yourself to. Just relax, read, know what you're getting yourself into, and only move forward to the next step when you're ready to accept what might be around the corner for you.

Thank you for posting this. I was fine with everything until I got matched with a girl and then I started freaking out. I guess, because it started to seem more real. I'm scared to death and wondering how I will afford it, if I'll ever get to work out at the gym again, if I'm ever going to have any free time again, that OMG this really is a lifetime commitment etc. etc. etc. I was told by my best friend that she had these same fears when she was having her own child and that it's perfectly normal. It's a huge life change. I think it would be abnormal if we weren't scared. I use my faith a lot and just trust in God that if I'm supposed to do this it will all work out and if it doesn't then I'm obviously not supposed to be doing this.

The fear of the unknown is always scary..even people that have biological children can't be 100% sure they will turn out a great kid... You can still do what you want, you'll just have to make accomodations for your child..does your gym have a child care center? I am very "scared/nervous" myself...I started this journey a couple of years ago..I even went to a couple of PRIDE classes, then I chickened out because I thought I couldn't do it...but I am back...this is what I am being called to do so I know God will work it out for me...and will do so for you!!! You probably should discuss with your SW..it would not be anything new that they've encountered and they may have some advice to help calm your fears!! They know this isn't a simple change to your lifestyle..or the childs!!!

Thank God I only had 5 days from finding out I was adopting till my ad was born. I think I would have drove everyone crazy if not. But I did alot of worrying over the same things (except I am married) that you did. I literally cried so hard one night that my husband thought I was losing it. Thankfully that is the very moment the good Lord made it very clear to me that I was meant to do this. I went from crying hysterically to laughing hysterically. Your fears are normal. The reward in the end is like nothing you will ever expierence. (I have two bio children and the adoption process is still one of my top three memories of my life and is one of the top three rewards. )

I bet Peter was scared before he stepped out of that boat too. Life does not hold any guarantees, but when we move forward in faith, turn our fears into prayer, we can achieve amazing things. And adopting a child is an amazing thing.

I am single and have a 2 1/2 year old. I was terrified many times before he came home. I think it is totally normal. Any life change is scary and being responsible for a child is big! But so wonderful and amazing. As cliche as it sounds, adopting is the best thing I ever did in my life.

Being scared is absolutely normal (and probably a good thing!). After meeting with my social worker for an initial introductory meeting, I told her I was "putting the idea of adopting on a shelf" and I took 6 months and didn't think about it at all. I had been so absorbed in researching and deciding and was so aware of everything that could go wrong that I just needed time to not think about it at all. I took three vacations in that time and did all sorts of things that I knew I would have to give up for awhile, if not for decades. Then, I asked myself if I wanted to go on without being a mom; and my answer was "no." So, I called my social worker back (who by the way, was very impressed that I would be thoughtful about the decision) and contracted with my agency...and the rest is history. 11 months later I brought home my wonderful 6 month old daughter. Today she is 3 years old and I know every day that, for me, I made the right choice. I'm not always happy, I'm often tired and there are lots of things that have changed! But, I'm always full of joy, and she has brought me that. During my process, I was never worried until the day before I left to get her. That day, and on the flight to Guatemala, I was incredibly nervous. After she was home, it took about 3 months before I felt adapted to the routine and needs of an infant. As a single woman who was used to being able to come and go as I pleased, do things last minute, getting Lots of sleep, etc. etc. it was a big adjustment. It's not right for everyone. It's a lot of work, a lot of change, and very little "me" time; it's also really hard when you are sick...you still have to take care of a child, although I'm a big fan of lots of cartoons at that time:) Having said that, if it is right...it's the very best thing in the world. Susan

I think being scared is normal. It is scary, there are so many unknowns down the road. But, that is life. We cannot predict or control the future. A single parent myself, I have a one year old I adopted as an infant. I would go crazy if I worried what might happen tomorrow or next week or next year. Instead, I just take one day at a time. That is plenty enough. And each day is different and offers it's own unique challenges to one degree or another. But, if you spend time worrying about what might happen, you will miss out on the wonderful things happening right now, and there are so many of those. The meaning of the expression baby steps never impacted me until I started really observing a child develop. Things that seem so little mean so much. And, if/when a problem arises, I deal with it the best I can, and see it as yet another challenge. That is the best anyone can do in any circumstance. Most important, I have committed myself to providing and doing the best I can for my daughter, whatever might arise and I strived for that type of commitment before I got her. Becoming a single parent did make a big change in my routine as well, in terms of my "freedom" and adjusting my routine to the baby's. It is always not easy, and it does require ALOT of commitment.

I felt this way every time we adopted (4X). Do you really think we would have done it 3 more times if we weren't really happy with our decision? Nada. When you can talk about your fears with people on this board, it gets better. Hang in there. You are TOTALLY NORMAL!!!

Your fears are normal...trust me. Good luck!