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hi,
i am hopeing someone here can give me some advise.
i am married to a wonderfull man who was adopted by very loving and great parents and he really never wanted to look for his birth mum(after years of talking this was more from the fear of being rejected),then 4 weeks ago we got a letter from his bio brother we are still not sure if tha\ey have the same birth dad or not.
his brother went to a lot of trouble to find him and we found out he has 3 brothers and a sister and also that his birth mum had passed away 2 months ago im not sure how hubby feels about that but im sure in time he will tell me.
well we wrote back to his brother explaining it was a bit of a shock to here from him but not unwelcome and maybe they could write to each other for awhile and get to know each other.
we gave his brother our email address and he emailed us and asked if there was anything hubby wanted to know well there was a few things so he asked away and also sent pics of our 6 kids and himself,the thing is we havnt herd anything back and i know ithasnt been very long but for a man who never wanted to know he is now desperate to find out.
im wondering if i should write to his brother because i dont want them to play with him if thats what there doing because we really dont know .
i know were they are comming from as my older sister was given up for adoption and we reunited about 10 years ago and i know its not all plain sailing but this is my hubby and i dont want him hurt dose anyone have any advise.
thanks
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Hi frazaled, Reunions are very difficult, as you said. I am into a two year reunion and I am still having issues. I was adopted as a baby. My first question would be is how long have you been waiting for a reply from him? I wonder if you husband or you could email and just "check in" to make sure everyone was ok. Is it possible that there could be some tension between siblings there and he may have to work some things out on his end? I know that my bfather had to think several months about it before he decided he wanted "in". It was really difficult for my bmom to tell me that he was not "over the moon" to meet me etc. He changed his mind and we have a fantastic relationship. I do remember waiting forever for replies from bmom, found out she had gone on a vacation etc. Try your best to keep your husband relaxed about it. It is so hard to wait, I know. Everything runs through your mind of what is happening. Let us know what happens. debsw
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Hi, I'm a reuinited (though no longer in contact) with my birthmother and birthfather.
I suggest that you not send the e-mail, but that your husband does. Or, if you do feel the need to send it, get approval. When I was reunited, I wanted to know when all shots were called. It was a very uncomfortable experience, and after a few years, have distanced myself from it.
I hope that you have a reply very soon. May reasons can cause a delay. Doubt and fear may be two of them.
Maybe it was the questions that were asked...maybe he is having a difficult time getting the answers for him.or getting pictures together to send....Your husband should just write a short simple follow-up e-mail saying:"Hello..have not heard from you, so just wondering if you recieved my last e-mail? please let me know.I hope everything is okay there and hope to hear from you soon." anything could have happened...like the e-mail may have accidently gotten deleted, that happens now and then....or other computer problems...just try again. can't hurt.