Terrified and confused...

NO, he most definitely cannot walk in and take the baby. Hospitals are VERY careful about who has access to the babies. When you check in at the hospital make sure you let them know that NO ONE ELSE is to have access to the baby, and that you are going through a difficult time with your ex husband. I'm sure this won't be the first time they've had to deal with ex's fighting over a baby (although I doubt he'd try anything no matter how much he barks about it). Once the baby is born (almost immediately after) they attach a special transmitter to the umbilical cord, and if the baby is carried too close to ANY exit, the exits immediately seal shut. This has been the protocol in every single maternity ward I've ever seen (and I've seen some pretty rural hospitals). There is no way he'll be able to get to that baby in the hospital. :)

Thank you. You have no idea how much stress that relieves to know he wont be able to get to my baby in the hosp.

Just another side note, but you'll definitely want to start building your divorce case against this guy now. Find out if you live in a 1 party, or 2 party state. If you live in a 1 party state record every single conversation you have with this guy so you have proof later on. Save all voicemails, save all emails. If you don't already, open a bank account in JUST your name. Also ask them to place a note on your account that they have to ask you some secret password before discussing anything about your account (so he can't call and pretend to have your permission)Get all bills (utilities, phone, etc) in your name. Also tell them about your ex, and put a password on all these accounts as well. This is to keep him from calling and getting things shut off. As tough as things are already, you really need to file for divorce NOW. I don't know what state you are in, but in "community property" states until you file for divorce or legal separation your money is his money, his debts are your debts, etc. He could actually go out and open up a credit card with a $10,000 limit (if he has the credit) and half that debt would belong to you. Now laws vary from state to state so your best bet is talking with a lawyer, but you don't want this to drag out. Also, I think child support CAN be done separately from divorce so don't let that stop you from getting the ball rolling. Good luck, and stay strong!

I too went through a somewhat similar situation when I was knocked up by my live in boyfriend at 19yrs old(I'm 31 now). At first though he was 110% supportive. When I was four months pregnant(he told me NOT to abort,saying he'd be there and so forth from the beginning),he then just up and left unexpectedly and without any notice or conversation. I spent the rest of the pregnancy grappling to find a place I could afford,trying desperately to save up for baby stuff,mentally stressed(lost all my friends and very lonely,angry and hurt,and all the time having this guy who suddenly claimed the child wasn't his(rolling eyes)coming in and out of my life before the child was even born! I tried calling his mom and telling her that a grandchild was on the way,but he had already convinced his family I was a whore and the child wasn't his. At one point,I had my OB mention adoption. I sat there,and later on, worried about my lack of ability to care financially for my son. I had "friends" tell me that was the only choice. I cried, and went to a lawyer's office looking for a couple. I had convinced myself that although my son was 100% wanted,that I would just be condemning him to a life of poverty and a mother who probably could never handle being a parent let alone a single one. I found a couple,but was told,no you can't meet them until you give them your child when it's born! What?! I was told to not call the lawyer's office until I had given birth and planned to hand over my child almost immediately. When they told me that,it took a month or two before I decided I had EVERY RIGHT to raise my son. There was no reason I couldn't have done a good job. The last time I saw the birth father(again him trying to be in my life only to run off again),I was 8 or 9 months pregnant. I had had enough of his garbage,and just looked at him and said "Either you want to be a part of this child's life or not!","I don't want your friggin money,or your charity,this isn't about you or me,it's about this child". I later found out,he had hidden a cocaine addiction from me. He got heavy into it and alcohol as soon as he moved back in with his parents and got into two car crashes all the time him trying to make ME feel like **** for choosing to continue a pregnancy that he HAD to ultimately be forced to deal with. My pregnancy ended in a tragedy for me. I had my son born on his initial birthday but he died because of cord twisting and cutting off his air supply earlier in the day. The birthfather never did come to the hospital,and I ended up like with the pregnancy dealing with the death and burial of my son Brandon I so desperately wanted and loved. I look back and think,I'm SO glad I fought to keep him to raise(just my opinion in MY situation only, not reflecting this on anyone else's situation or the OP's). conclusion; If YOU feel adoption is the route to go,then feel comfortable with your decision. If you know or feel pressure is coming from others,and you DON'T feel comfortable giving your child up,then DON'T. I understand you're fearing your ability to parent(not knowing whether you can handle it or not because you haven't done it yet). Yes it's great when there's two parents,but it's not the end all. As long as your child has a good male role model(like a grandfather,uncle,neighbor etc)then your child will STILL learn good healthy lessons from a resourceful and constant source,it DOESN'T have to be dad. It could be dad's DAD(grandpa-you get my drift). Money? Is wonderful,but as long as your providing a roof,clothes and food,the child will enjoy the simpler things with you-money can often be used to buy affections,when you have less,you have an opportunity to use creativity! Parenting is NOT something that you go in knowing how to do. The best parent(at any age)is someone who understands that love is great,but being a good role model and living what you preach. Your partner may choose to be in this child's life,or he could turn out like my dad and choose when I was 3 or 4 to walk away and live a carefree life not thinking or wanting anything to do with the children he left behind. I won't reiterate the great advice others have given-but as the biological mom,if you say to the hospital I DO NOT WANT anybody EXCEPT me near this child-they WILL abide so they aren't sued by you later(they obviously don't want to be considered part of someone else's plan of possibly kidnapping a child because then they're responsible!). Take care, know that you have rights and 100% choice in whatever you feel comfortable with. Don't let other's opinions(even mine!)sway you differently than what you want or feel in your heart you must do. Hugs,

Sadly alot of hospitals do not have this policy.

Butterfly - thank you for sharing your story. I hope it will help the OP realize that this is her choice and that if she chooses to parent she can do it and if she doesn't parent and chooses to place, that's okay too.

Really? When I was visiting hospitals in my area (about 3 in a 100 mile radius) even the most rural had this. This was also in central Texas (just FYI). To OP, please check with your local hospitals and find out for SURE what kind of policy they have for keeping infants safe. A good safety procedure might be enough to switch hospitals. Good luck!

I am so sorry your husband is doing this to you! No, he can not just come into the hospital and take the baby. Like the others have said, he is just trying to bully you --- don't let him! I think your siblings' FMom was just offering another option when she suggested adoption. This is the right choice for some people. Only YOU know what's in your heart and what you want for your baby. Research ALL your options and follow your own heart. Don't let anyone else decide this for you. Search inside your heart and you will know what is right for you and your baby. Good luck with whatever YOU decide. Wishing you all the best!

Pamela- Hello, Adoptive mom here. I'm sorry that you are going through a difficult time during what should be a very happy and exciting time. Don't let anyone make choices for you. If you are prepared to be your baby's mommy - then that's what you should do. I'm sure that you will be a wonderful mom. Regarding your husband/the father's rights - Not to say that anyone whose given you advice already is right or wrong BUT you should contact an attorney to understand exactly what rights he has. I know that every state is has different laws and you should get advice from an attorney in your state. This baby is his and yours - so until a court decides otherwise you both have equal rights (but some states are different). I wish you the best of luck and hope that the road ahead is easy and joyous as you introduce your new baby to the world.

We weren't legally married but when I was in the hospital they allowed me to sign under a "fake" name so he wouldn't be able to find me as I was worried he would show up and cause a scene and be violent.

You have mentioned that since you grew up in foster care that some people have questioned whether you will be a good mother. I say yes you can! In order to prepare yourself you ight want to consider a parenting class (often offered free through state programs). I suggest it only because it might give you confidence and help you with strategies for dealing with single motherhood. It will also show those around you that you are taking steps to prepare for your new baby. Parenting is a great joy but it is also a challenge and the more prepared you are the better you will be able to cope when your baby arrives. Good luck and congratulations on this new little life.

You already sound like you will be a wonderful mother! I just wanted to tell you that you CAN do this. There are programs, housing assistance, ect... to help you with the financial details. There are free parenting classes through the state, WIC, medicaid, foodstamps, ect... I grew up in section 8 housing with my 3 siblings, raised mostly by a single mom, on welfare for the majority of my life. And yet, I wouldn't change a single thing about my childhood. My mother loved us and protected us and always made sure we had everything we needed. And my younger sister actually found herself in a VERY similiar situation to yours! It took her some time but she did divorce the guy, raised her son on her own, she took advantage of tons of state programs for single moms and she'll get her degree next month. So, you CAN do it! I know it must be scary and not what you planned; but sometimes God's greatest blessings are surprises. If you believe in yourself, love your child more than anything in this world, always put your child's needs first; you'll be a wonderful mom! Best wishes.

I work in a maternity ward at the largest hospital in our area and none of our area hospitals have anything like this (remote locking thing). However, what most hospitals do have is a way to admit anyone under a Jane Doe name for her safety. Also, it is NEVER a hospital's policy to give out identifying info (including name) on babies, so it should not be possible for someone to find out when a particular baby is at the hospital. Often, mom is given 2 arm bands--one for herself and one for HER to chose who else (baby's father, a grandparent, etc.) that cannot be removed or shared. You can choose to give it to no one else--just your original band only. This means NO ONE other than Mom can inquire at the window to see the baby or anything else.

Cjmeck - thank you for the great post. :)

No.. I believe that since you were a foster child that you will be more aware of how important it is to be a great mom and have that special, one of a kind bond with your child. Sometimes people who have everything dont realize little things in life are true blessings. I believe that you will work hard at being the best mom that you can be because you want your child to have what you didnt always have. Just remember, you may be on assistance now but that isnt always gonna be the case. Think about what it will be like when your child is 10, 16, 25.... You will be settled and he/she would have been with you all this time and who knows, maybe he/she will bless you with a lot of grandbabies! Just keep your child, I believe that you already know that it is meant to be.