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Saturday I have my first f2f with my dd. I placed her 22 years ago. I find myself tonight thinking. Why are we doing this? What will it change? It can't bring back what I have lost. Why can't I be happy just knowing that she is happy and has wonderful parents? What drives me to know her? I am scared to death:eek:
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Oh, the "panic" questions. Okay, sit down. Take a deep breath.
"Why are we doing this?"- Because you may have always wondered about your daughter - need to see her face. She has wondered about you in the same manner.
"What will it change"? No, it won't change the past but it can change the future by adding another person to love.
"What drives me to want to know her?" I believe it is the bond between mother and child that is formed even before birth, the curiosity of wanting to know a child that is a part of oneself.
I wish you all of the best in your reunion. It is scary but for a lot of us who have been through it, it was one of the best days in our lives. Know that your daughter is probably just as excited and nervous as you are. You can even giggle about the scariness!
Hugs
Snuffie
Good luck tomorrow - enjoy every moment (the first one is the best and most difficult to get to but after that you'll be on cloud 9 - at least I was). I thought I messed up a bit but bson and I had several great meetings within a short period of time. I forgot the camera and could kick myself. Let us know how it goes and stinky kitty best of luck to you too. Getting there is the hardest part. all the best.
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Stacy, you are in my prayers. It was funny. I thought I just wanted to know he was ok. Then as we talked... mostly by email and I sent him pictures of his various brelatives and ancestors and shared stories with him. And he told me about his family... I felt I really wanted to meet him... and when his step-son wanted to know when we were going to meet I figured it was time to ask. I broke all the rules... again! I invited him to a family meal I was having. He met me, my DH, our son and daughter and one grandson. They got here and sat in the driveway until I thought they weren't going to get out and come inside. D was hyperventilating. The day was great after that....Stacy, I hope you can relax and enjoy --see this as the next step in your relationship.
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Stacy, I'm so glad it was wonderful for you. Best wishes for the future. This was only the beginning. Please come back when you come down to earth and give us all details. We love details of the first f2f and it helps to write it out.
Thanks so much for letting us know. Enjoy this time. It is something that doesn't happen to everyone.
Jill
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