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I guess it would all despend on how you look at it.
IMO, it was the best thing that could happen to me.
I should note that I hardly know most of those related to me...I know almost zero relatives that share my last name, and those that I did know are now deceased. I don't know my cousins or really anyone for that matter.
The woman that birthed me, is now legally my sister, and its been over 2 years since I seen her. She calls maybe once a year to say hi, and thats the end of the conversation. Her Daughters, are legally my neices, and I barely know them, which is fine with me, as what I do know, I don't approve of the actions theyve taken.
I am the ONLY one that I am aware of, in my family, that graduated High School and took some college.
As you can see, I signed up here on this site long ago, yet my 1st post was YEARS after that signup. I guess I just had to feel the need to post.
I found dad(b.1914) dead in bed when I was 8 (1974), and mom worked full time until she was 78. Mom is 93 now and in a nursing home with Alzheimers.(Alzheimers is worse than death, dont let anyone tell you different.)
I got married in 1989 and the only one that even cared was mom.
As it stands now, my wife and I have 3 boys, live in the same state (within 40miles) of my relatives and virtually never see any of them, unless of course there's a funeral.
We've (my wife and I) have never asked for a single thing from any of them.
My wife's family lives 2000 miles from here, and I am closer to them than I had ever been to my own relatives.
I thought/think the world of my Dad (still do) and Mom.
I do wish my inlaws would move here, as I absolutely can't STAND Where they live now.
I would suppose that once Mom passes on, Ill see everyone I'm related to and after that, Ill probably not see them again. Thats what I expect anyway.
Sounds like a rather difficult time, w/ your Mom very ill, and I know you must love her very much! Life doesn't stop with painful things because we have no blood family to share with huh? Your welcome here anytime! Lots of understanding here.
I am in a similar kin/family situation, I can't say that I was told the truth, so unfortunately the betrayal has separated me from my family.
I was raised by my bf's kin, and around extended family, but since I was introduced as one family member but in whole had another id with them, and they knew about it. It cut me off from getting close or interacting with them.
What seems that hardest for me at times, is being early 40's and no extended family. Usually not something a person begins to face until their latter years in life through natural cuases. So it's hard especailly when we are suffering over the one we had to love's pain illness.
I too have a wonderful married family, and 2 birth adult/chidlren of my own, w/ 2 new grandbabies. My awesome husband and I live 1100 miles away from them. Am very close with my own family as well, and in-lawa family is awesome, they too live 1100 miles away! Those that share my last name???? Not sure what my last maiden name even was, the jury it still out!!! lol. HUMMMM... yeah, I know what your saying there for sure. We don't get real accepted in the extended family, even if those who raised us did a good job at it.
We kind of do, kind of don't, fit the typical adoptee situation, we understand what it's like not to have been raised by our bparents and know our bfamily's, but sometimes when we say "kin" it seems we automatically are surrounded by our own birth family's in some way, which is more than they have, and that is so not the case. I understand their need to want to know any blood fm as well. My bmom is the only ancestory of my blood that is "pending" for me. There's been too much rejection for me to attempt to contact her just yet.
Anyhow, I wanted to let you know I understand what you're saying, and you can PM me anytime you would like.
God bless and keep you in His tender care.