Need help!

If there is a will then there is always a way. Most exhusbands will jump at the chance to stop paying child support, although there are a few that wish to pay it for they know that they are their father. I'm not sure how one would go about answering your question, I just know it can be done. Best of luck to you guys. bprice215

I know this is an old post, but maybe someone else will come along and need an answer or thoughts to consider about this..........so I will post my answer. We have a blended family. I have 2 boys and he has 2 boys and a girl. We have gone through it all as a blended family. The answer to her question is......"you can't". I would suggest that you give alot of thought to this and much prayer before you do anything. You said, "recently married". When you married their dad you thought it would be forever.....you have now remarried and of course you believe it will be forever too ! I pray it will be............but, here is what I would tell my own daughter if she ask..... I will tell her...you have no idea what will happen next year or the next or the next. If I believed her new hubby would be a great dad. I would tell her so and remind her that a piece of paper with him adopting them has NO bearing on him being a dad to them and that some day her children WILL want to know their dad. NO matter what she thinks of him or what he has done. I would tell her that after much prayer if she still thinks it is wise to move forward........ She should contact her ex and ask him if that is something he would consider and does he believe that would be in the kids best interest. If he says yes......he can sign off voluntary to terminate his parental rights. If he says "no"....then you have to prove him unfit. And I would NOT forget they have other grandparents, aunts and uncles who may want to step in on behalf of their family and have a relationship with children. Women forget this all the time. They think if they did not have a great relationship with his family, then they do not deserve to be contacted or allowed to visit the children. From a grandmother.........ALL my grandchildren are like children of my own. I hurt when I do not get to see them as often as I would like. Failure to visit your own children on a regular basis is NOT grounds to terminate parental rights. Visitation is a privlage. It is not mandated by law. There is no law that says you must visit your children. Only mandate by law is he must pay child support...and even failure to do that is not grounds to terminate his rights. If he said "no" to your request to voluntarily terminate his parental rights, then yes it can be difficult to prove him unfit. It would be better to say, "ok, I understand that. So, what can we do? I want them to love you and have a relationship with you. I am willing to do my part". Legally a father would have to be notified or an attempt to notify must be shown ..... and since the child support is taken from his pay check, then his whereabouts are known. Now all that being said. IF he said yes....it does not guarantee the court would "approve" your new hubby to adopt as the step-parent. You said "recently" married. Judge may consider the length of time. Does hubby have children of his own ? If so, is he current with child support? Does he see his children regularly ? If not, a judge is not going to say, OH sure you can adopt her children and not take care of your own children ! Not sure how old your children are...but, I can tell you this......whether you hubby adopts your girls or not it has NO bearings on him being a great father figure to them. When your children are adults.....they will want to know their real dad. Guaranteed. Even if they say today they will not......wait and hear what they will say as an adult. We have a blended family. 5 kiddo's in all of our own and we are finishing up our homestudy to adopt. All of our are now adults. I can't wait to have more children. I supported and continue to support.. "KIDS FIRST". I believe no matter what.......as a mother it is our job to do anything and everything we can to foster the relationship between my children and their birth father or birth mom, no matter how much you may hate them or disagree with them. You do what is BEST for the children. A step dad is just an added bonus for your children to have a father figure in their life. Same goes the flip side. If he has children, child support, visitation ect. your responsibility is to do whatever you can to foster YOUR and his relationship with his children and see to it that he is regularly apart of their lives and that he pays child support...ON TIME ! That includes a smile on your face and being polite to his ex, no matter what she says, does or otherwise....as long as the kids are safe ! We drove 160 miles every other Friday night and 160 miles every Sunday to take his kids home for over 15 years. And many more weekends like that when the kids would call and want to come. Hope this fosters some thoughts.....I hear young women often asking the question that you have. And when you start asking questions you find out that she blames him for everything and she herself has made NO attempt to foster a better relationship for her children's sake with their dad, their grandparents, aunts/uncles/cousins on their fathers side of the family. Not even picking up the phone and calling him and saying, "can you speak to the children on the phone"? How easy would that be ? Even if he said no, she tried. And even if he said no today......he will start thinking of his kids, even if it is just today. I would make that friendly call again in a month. I have NEVER spoken ill of my children's dad or my husbands ex.....no matter what! And that includes doing the same with any grandparents, aunt's and uncles. They are the children's family. PERIOD :grouphug: I hope you are able or were able to sort this out and do what was absolutely in your children's BEST interest. I know it is hard.......BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT X 5 ! And survived......now my children say thank you MOM . 4 out of 5 have a great relationship with their dad. The one that doesn't, can't blame me, he and his dad know I tried my BEST. They had a great relationship as adults and something else come in between that. But, it was not me....... :flower: Wishing all blended families and the children the very best life offers! :grouphug: