Questions on the staffing meeting.

Fingers crossed for you being chosen. This staffing, often referred to as Committee in some states, is procedure for many states - families under consideration are presented (many states have representatives that present each family vs. the families themselves) and a decision is often determined that day which family will receive placement option. I don't believe you will see (other than a passing glance) the other families. You will be given information on the child, hear from workers (teachers, foster parents, therapist, etc.) and all needs reiterated (hopefully you already know) and asked if you are still interested in proceeding. I would ask the worker under the pretense of making flight arrangements whether or not you should plan on 1, 2 or more days. Since you are out-of-state and have out-of-state placements you already are familiar with ICPC procedures - and most states these days are waiting for that to clear prior to introducing you to the child and the child to you. Hope this helps.

That helps some, I appreciate having another perspective. We do have her detailed information and believe that we are a good match. It has just been hard, because we have been waiting a long time. I think I am just nervous because it is very different than the way we were matched with our two daughters. Both of those times, we submitted our information and the decision making was done without our knowledge, then we were simply informed that we were chosen. I think I am also nervous because having her placed with us is so important to my wife and I. That leads to another more general question - how does that happen? We are seriously attached to this kid and we have not even met her. Does anyone else do that or are we the only crazy ones? I even know explicitly that there are 3 other families being considered and that I am setting myself up to be disappointed.

We were "staffed" in Missouri and none of the families were present at the meeting. We were contacted by phone when chosen, same day (almost immediately when the meeting was done) and the next day when we weren't chosen (a sure sign usually).

I live in Missouri and have been with the State Adoption program for 3 years. I have only been in one "staffing" and my sister is the adoptive mother of a wonderful boy, she was also in a "staffing" when she adopted him. From what I know, yes there are always more then one family and the "staffing" is to look at all the families and the child and find the family that is best suited for the child. You don't see or engage with the other families. I know you are stressed out, I was and I was at work during the staffing. Hope your SW knows you well and is selling your family to the people on the staffing committee. It's very stressful, I wish you the best.

JLOSTL, Thanks for the information, I think everything we are experiencing is "normal" for Missouri. But, it is very different than the process in California and Colorado, although those two states were very similar. Plus we lived locally in CA and CO at the time of the placements so it was much easier! Actually it seems like Missouri may be a more structured, better matching process because the others seemed random and when/what happened was completely hidden. That doesn't help my nerves though! I don't think our social worker is really helping at all, because we went through a private agency since we are interested in a fost/adopt kid out-of-state. They sent the home study and will return calls, but I have been keeping them up to date on what is going on! So, I have been calling the Missouri worker which has seemed to work well. So, the best we can hope for is that someone on the "staffing" committee will see what a great family we are and become our champion! Thanks again!

I just want to add a bit of information since we have now been through the staffing meeting. Our happy news is that we matched with our daughter at the staffing and got to meet her that same evening. Since we had flown out for the staffing, we spent the evening and most of the next day with her before we had to fly back. The staffing meeting was pretty straightforward. There was a total team of ten people that interviewed us, and they stayed there and interviewed four families in two hour shifts over the course of the day. They had a standard set of questions that they were going to ask everyone. I suspect it is the same list of questions at every staffing in Missouri. We were surprised that they made their decision on the day of the staffing, but we were ecstatic to get to meet her at 6 pm that evening and have dinner with her to celebrate. I have to say, this has been a very long and hard process, and we are now in the depths of getting the ICPC to be approved. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I have talked to everyone involved with it that I could and I hope it goes through pretty soon. We have been back to visit once already, and we are returning for another visit this weekend. She will be coming to our house over Thanksgiving, if the ICPC doesn't clear first and we can't move her permanent by then! We matched with her through a photolisting and ALOT of persistence, it has taken almost a year now since we first inquired. I'm not sure if that is encouragement or not, but she is ours now so it was all worthwhile.

I am so glad that everything went well and you had a positive outcome. Best of luck and love in your family. The Holiday's will be so special. Jan