Grandparents Rights

Please speak to her asap. If you wait until she has made the decision to place with an adoptive family and they have been notified, they will be crushed. If your grandchild is placed for adoption, you have no rights. Once your dd and the baby's father give up their rights, ALL family rights are severed. Good luck to you!

Please speak with an adoption attorney and your daughter--your daughter first, I think. I think you will have no rights if your daughter and the baby's father chose a private adoption. I hope your daughter will consider your strong feelings about this child and realize how much you love your whole family. It can be confusing to do a relative adoption, especially if you all live together or close to each other. Daughter will need to understand her role is sister if you adopt. She may not want to face her child every day of her life, forever, as a sister. I commend you for your wish to raise this child. My husband and I adopted our nephew to keep him from being lost to our whole family. We could not love him more if he had been born to us. Let us hear from you--

Have you considered the possibility of offering to be guardian to this child until your daughter has set her self up to raise this child herself? Just another option for you both to consider. I just know that I found the idea of my parents raising my son, especially as my 'brother' horrifying. I would definately talk to your daughter about different ways you are willing to help her, but please try not to pressure her. I'm not sure you have any rights whatsoever as a blood relative. If she is not interested in having you raise her child, are you willing to give up your relationship with her to fight over it in a legal sense?

Tell her.. Stand in your truth and say what you want to say.. My mom and dad at the last moment of the last day.. three months after the birth.. said.. Jackie if you really want to keep him we will help you.. I felt like I was betrayed by them and I thought that they were just taking a pass to their responsiblity.. Still think this to this day. I wish my mom and dad would have said to me.. from day one.. its your decision and this is what we want.. Truth on the table.. A woman or girl needs to make the decision IMO with all the information.. But she makes the decision.. she has to grow up.. Jackie

I love the idea of guardianship... Non-family adoptions were the creation of society to create the "picture" of a wholesome society... Family adoptions have been going on for generations and primarily were openly understood within the family. Family adoptions give the adoptee: Self identity...we know where we came from Familiarity...we look like our family in one way or the other Personality similarities...personality tendencies run in families Perhaps less or minimal feelings of abandonment And finally...a family medical history that is fluid and ever changing to guide the persons doctor in ensursing optimum care throughout their life, not just as a child. Also, while the decision will impact all the lives involved, especially the mother and father, the decision must be made primarily with the childs best interests and from what I have read that is to stay within the family, if possible. My two cents and hopefully I have not upset others on this forum because I truly do not mean any disrespect. Kind regards,Dickons

I would talk to your daughter asap and let your desire be known. I know that our Daughter's Birthmother had the option to keep her in the family with an Aunt and Uncle who could not have children, but she decided against it because it was going to be too hard on the entire family. In your case you might find that this is just the arrangement your Daughter is wishing could happen. Good luck.

I agree, good post. Adoption should be a decsion of last resort for both mother and child. If mother really feels she is uanble to parent even with the help of her parents, if it is a decsion that is well thought out and rational then her decsion should stand. If in fact all she needs is good solid support and the child is in a healthy enviroment the its my opinion that its alwys the best thing for babies to stay with their families. Get the propaganda stuff out of the way and I am willing to beleive that that is the way most of us think. If we didn't we would be passing babies around at will. Talk to your daughter as soon as possible tell her you respect her desion but would be honored to have your grandchild stay in the family and help raise them, or if she is unable to rasie for you to raise. IS your daughters mother available? Why is she in an "adoption home" now?

Please tell your daughter about your desire to keep your grandchild in your family as soon as possible. If you are concerned about her reaction, it might be a good idea to have a someone who she trusts with you (I do NOT recommend a counselor at the maternity residence.) She may be looking into adoption because she thinks it is expected of her.My daughter was considering adoption for her new 3-yo son. I found out later that she wanted to keep her baby and was looking into adoption because she thought that was what WE wanted. One day I asked her if adoption was what SHE wanted. She broke down crying and said absolutely not.My daughter was older - 21 - but still in college. Her dad and I transferred her to a local university so she could live with us. We have a kinship care agreement with her (mostly to get our grandson on my health insurance) and are her parenting mentors. She is mom to her son in every way. We are her safety net.Not every day is rosy but we would not have it any other way. We have an incredible relationship with our daughter and get to see our gorgeous grandson every day. Our daughter was able to stay in college (almost done, praise God!) and be a mom to her little boy.Talk to her - listen to her. Brain storm. Be creative. There are a thousand ways to provide for your grandson if she does not want an out-of-family adoption. Good luck!Happy G'Ma

Happy gmom I love the solution you came up with to help your daughter. If more grandparents were like you the world would be a happier place!

Dickons None taken here.. Your words are very important.. Jackie

Thanks, quantum - It's not a bed of roses but we have no regrets, especially when we see bond between our happy, thriving grandson and his mommie. I think that these non-traditional arrangements can work well in families as long as roles and responsibilities are clearly defined and there are no substance abuse issues.We know 2 other families who have chosen the same option - mentoring kinship care. They have had some bumps in the road too but both of their kids have stepped up to parenting too.Happy G'Ma