Anyone here feel coerced besides me?

Pen2005pal I think there was a lot of manipulation going on when I relinquished.. Working toward stopping that manipulation is what is needed.. Honesty and human rights.. and a womans right to make her decision.. its what I look for.. Jackie

I agree fully!

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yes, I definitely do. I hope you don't mind me sharing my story.

I gave birth on Feb. 14 of this year. I'd only found out I was pregnant a month before because I was on the birth control shot (no periods) and I wasn't showing at all. I would have never known if I didn't go to my OBGyn for abdominal pain.

Anyway, I freaked out big time and made an adoption plan. I picked an adoptive couple from another state and then all of a sudden I was in labor. Well, after my precious boy was born I knew I wanted to keep him. I didn't call the agency as I wanted to get out of the hospital first and get settled. Never happened though. 16 hours after delivery I got approached by an SW who said I could not keep my baby because I had tested positive for Cocaine and Meth and that either I continue with the adoption or the child goes to CPS. Now I have never done drugs before so I was quite shocked. I asked if the could retest me but I got a no. My mom asked if she could take the baby home pending confirmation. She got a no. I asked if the baby could stay in the hospital pending confirmation. Alas, another no. If that wasn't bad enough, the hospital SW somehow knew I was working with this certain agency and called them. Well, the agency SW talked to my mom and told her that if I chose CPS I would never see my son again. She then put a first mom on the phone who told my mom she had already lost two kids to CPS and thats why this time she was choosing adoption. After that, she called the APs and told them to fly over to this state without my permission. When I finally talked to the agency SW, she said too late, the APs were already on their way and that at least I would get to see my son because the APs would give me visitations and if CPS came, I wouldn't even know where my son was or anything like that. Given a choice of visitations or complete lack of contact, I signed consent forms. It has been my nightmare ever since.

I found out the following:

1. The original drug screen had been doctored.

2. The confirmation test and the baby's tests were back and completely negative even though I was told they would not be back for weeks.

3.CPS would not have taken my son and adopted him off, even if I really had been doing drugs.

You can believe I got an attorney and of course ever since then, the APs will not talk to me, let alone give me updates and photos like they initially promised. I tried to get him back voluntarily by asking for him back 1 day after placement, but the APs said no so now its been in court for the last 6 months and will probably last another year or 2 before anything really gets resolved.[/FONT]

Xcammiex This is what adoption reformers work to stop.. What must be stopped.. If you read blogs.. I suggest you go to this blog.. [url=http://bastardette.blogspot.com/]The Daily Bastardette[/url] Marley needs to hear from you because she works and has worked most of her adult life towards adoption reform.. Do not ever give up.. I am so sorry you and your baby have gone through this.. so very sorry.. its terrible.. Jackie

xcammie, what a nightmare! I'm sorry if this is an inappropriate question, but I do wonder why legal counsel wasn't secured prior to signing. And was the hospital staff going along with all the lies that the SW was telling you? I understand that after giving birth, a new mother is not in the best frame of mind, whether it be from exhaustion, pain medication, etc., and you were completely manipulated, but I think it's important for expectant moms to be very aggressive and question these so-called "rules" before signing anything. I feel so angry at what happened to you. If I were there, I'd have thrown that CW out on her rear-end so fast, she wouldn't have known what hit her. I wish you had someone there at the time to protect you and look out for your interests.

Thank you Jackie!! Will do.Much love,Susan

Just Peachy,Honestly, I just didn't think of getting an attorney. I had three people telling me the same thing, one of which I trusted, and I had no reason to believe that they would lie to me. When the hosp SW first told me, I was skeptical, but I got a second and third opinion telling me the same thing. I was a bit out of it. I was on strong pain medicine and I had a couple of complications during labor. My blood pressure dropped and so did the baby's heart rate so they gave me something to raise my pressure and put me on oxygen. I was so dehydrated that when the put in a catheter to put in some urine, it was completely dry. Not one drop of urine. After delivery, I stayed up all night so I could hold and talk to my boy so by the time the SW came, I was tired, a bit loopy. I was also feeling guilty about telling the A-Parents and overwhelmed by all of my emotions. When the SW came and said what she said, I was shocked, confused, angry, scared, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I guess with all that in my head, logical thinking just wasn't there. Though I know now that if I ever go into labor again I will bring a couple of attorneys with me to the hospital.Yes, the hosp SW was in on it and in court she admitted a long history of working with that agency worker. Then she was like, "Adoption have increased a lot in the last few years" and I had to stop myself from screaming "yeah, because you're in their stealing people's kids."Sorry for the ranting.

Oh my gosh you have EVERY RIGHT to rant! Every right! I just hope you do get your son back and can undo some of the damage these people caused you. Sue the HECK out of them! What they did was illegal! Rylee

I hope, too, that you sue the crap out of them. How these people can sleep at night is beyond me. And your child, what will happen with him? By the time this gets through the courts, it could be years before you get him back. Since the baby was taken from you unlawfully, he should be immediately given back. Why does he have to stay with the aparents???

Well, the adoption was finalized and so they are legally the parents and I'm legally nothing so I guess that's why. I filed something before court asking if I could have the baby back pending the court hearing but the judge didn't think it was necessary even though she admitted the fact that they got to keep him was a bias against me. I'm so mad at the judge. I proved my case but not by a high enough percentage? How is that justice?

I know my relinquishment was done through coersion and lies. It makes me so angry knowing my bmom didnt know someone else would be signing the papers for her. She signed papers but it wasnt relinquishment papers and we have no idea where those papers are that she signed. I have my file and there isnt a single paper that has her name....only her alias name from the home and none of the signatures are hers. The system was and still is so twisted and it needs to change. Sorry just my opinion.

Cammie, your story just makes my stomach churn. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. :(

Yes, I too was manipulated by Lincoln County, CO, and my own mom and sister. I was a single parent, disabled veteran, with one son. I was going to (upon getting out of the Army December 2004) buy a single wide mobile home for cash in Colorado Springs, CO, but my mom and sister talked me into moving out to Eastern CO near them. They used my love for my son to con me into putting down a down payment on a tiny little house my sister owned. I had a bad feeling, but ignored it (stupidly) and did move there. My VA benefits for my disibility had not begun yet, and I kept my getting unemployment denied. So was living on less than $800 A month. Lost my truck and by summer no longer hqad utulities, so I volunteered for my son to stay with my sister(for 90 days or less) until I could either get the utilities on, or find a less expensive place to live (which my sister did not want me to do). So, I did find a less expensive place and within 2 weeks had my unemployment, painted and cleaned up the home, then when it was done, I found out my sister had given my son to the State of Colorado. Spent the next 4 years trying to keep myself together to get him back, to no avail. Setback after setback, and a judge telling me I had better not move out of the county, brought me down so much, did not care about me at all. Finally, they told me they were terminating my rights, I could not take it anymore, I moved out of Colorado to Kentucky a year and a half ago. The last time I spoke to my son was February 2009. That is when they terminated my rights. I was a wreck for 2 months. I considered beginning drinking, but a man of God and his family came into my life, and that ended that. Now I live alone, do not have any friends here, only have a few online ones. Have no pets, nothing. Stay in the house always, except to get groceries and pay bills a couple of times a month. Have given up on having a boyfriend/signficant other. All my life could not keep a guy, so no more. Then I found out at the beginning of this month, my son may have been adopted. He used to be on an adoption website, was there in March but not in April. Am trying not to think something bad happened to him. Asked the Colorado social services office if he did get adopted, they would not tell me. So am signed up on here, so if my son does look for me when he is 18 ( in 3 1/2 years) I will be here. And am on Facebook, and My Space too. Who knows? He may contact me before that, since all kids are so computer literate now (he's 14 ). Well, that's my story, I hate all social services, they all like to separate families. And blame you for things you did not do. I do not speak to my mother or sister anymore either, they came into my life when I was almost out of high school, and now wish I had never ever met them. God forgive me, but they helped the State keep my son, and I cannot forgive that. Now they will never see him (or me) again either, but somehow, I do not think it matters to them. My prayers are with all who else were railroaded. And others who are searching for their children. Thanks for listening.