confused and depressed

From what I have understood, preference is given to the mother to parent the child. For you to place your child with an adoptive family, I believe the father would have to terminate his rights, and it doesn't sound like that is his intention. Perhaps the child would be better in your custody considering he has a less than boring past. I don't know how much weight they would attribute to his past. We all know people that are good with the song and dance of how they have changed. Good luck to you.

The baby's birthfather can not force you to parent / pay child support, in my understanding. However, he can assert his rights as a parent, barring CPS / DSHS involvement. It is possible that he could say that he wants to parent and then not follow through, using it as a threat or leverage. His parental rights would need to be terminated for an adoption plan to go through, either by him signing away his rights, or the court terminating his rights (either by his them taking away his rights (not usually the case) or by legal advertisement and him not coming forward to claim his rights). If you believe that he would not follow through with signing away his rights, or would step up to parent the child, I would be careful of signing away your rights in an adoption plan. After you do so, you would not have the choice to "take it back" if indeed he decided to parent the child. Consult a reputable adoption attorney or agency if you want to know more about your options. Best of luck in this difficult situation!

Hi, I live overseas so the law may be different where you are:wings: , but if he has been in and out of jail then he shouldn't be able to get custody. Also if you don't put his name on the birth certificate then he is not a legal guardian. Hope that helps... I would suggest you see a good lawyer, don't let him bully you.

Hi. I am really sorry that you are going thru this. :( It depends on what state you live in. We are involved in a similar situation where a girl is trying to place her baby with us, but the father won't sign. It's not that HE wants to parent, its that he wants HER to parent. Its frustrating for this poor girl and my heart breaks for her. From what research I have done for her and gotten from our agency....I can tell you this. 1-DO NOT sign unless he's signed first. You don't want to loose your rights and have your baby placed in his care rather than with a family you pick if you son't think he's capable of parenting. 2- There are very specific laws/rules on how his rights can be terminated and just because he's in jail doesn't automatically mean his rights would be terminated. I'd suggest you talk to an agency or an adoption attorney to see what they think. Good luck to you. Lots of prayers and hugs.

Sorry for what you are going through... I do not believe a child is always better off growing up in a more financially stable adoptive home than with their biological family or parent who may have money problems. Babies are not blank slates - there is a loss associated. Not all adoptive homes are rich - probably very few. Adoptive parents are not immune to divorce, job loss, financial issues. Fathers do matter and should have the right to parent. Ask questions, do research, seek counseling from an unbiased counselor (not a crisis pregnancy center or adoption agency etc). You do not have to place your child for adoption at birth - there is no rush. Take the time needed to fully understand what adoption is. Kind regards,Dickons