Advertisements
Our adopted daughter was placed with us 3 months ago. After the time for the bmom to revoke her consent she decided she wanted the baby back. About a month after we got home with our daughter the bmom found a lawyer and is seeking to have her rights reinstated. Since she did not make her wishes known prior to the state deadline we have to go to court in order to TPR.
The bdad has still yet to be identified, but his time to step up has run out.
When do we tell our other children that we have to go to court. How do we prepare them for the chance that we may have to give our daughter back to her bmom?
Like
Share
Advertisements
We were told that once TPR is signed if the birth mother were to change her mind she would have to hire an attorney, take it to court and prove she had been misled in some way. Our attorney told us that there was little chance that she would be awarded the child. God bless and hang in there.
I'm not sure I would say anything to the children at this time.:grouphug:
I am so sorry that you are going through this! Hang in there.
I personally know how hard this situation can be. Even though my story is a little different, I've been though a contested adoption that lasted 2 1/2 years in the courts. Yes, we survived even though at times I wondered if I would. Fortunately we prevailed.
It is so hard to know what to tell kids. I guess I'd say that it is best to tell them some amount of the truth. I told my younger kids that the baby's b-parent was considering parenting and that we would love her and take good care of her until the decision was made. I hoped that they would be better prepared if they had heard at least the possibility that she might not be staying.
Advertisements
We had a failed adoption. The State of California actually considered it a child abduction (due to actions of the birth mom, not us) and eventually a judge signed a warrant for his immediate pick-up and return. Because we were worried that a sheriff would knock on our door at any moment, we told our children. That was after 2 weeks of knowing that the birth father was contesting.
Children can feel that there is something wrong and worry. If your children can sense something is going on, tell them the truth. Make it a matter of prayer as a family and work together. Our children though young at the time 6, 4, and 3 understood. They were sad, but it didn't overwhelm their thoughts. Good luck to you. I know this is hard.
Cheryl
