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Do you ever wonder WHAT you should pray for?
My MIL is very ill with a terminal cancer. Mulitiple Myeloma is not cureable, only treatable. She has recieved a Stem Cell Transplant, been on chemo, and other treatments. After fighting this disease for 3 yrs with great success, she has gotten really sick really fast.
She is in constant pain. She is in reneal failure and has dilaysis 3X a week. She can't eat(she drinks Ensure) and she is just miserable.
So I sometimes wonder how to pray for her. For 3 yrs years I have prayed for a healing. I honestly believe GOD touched her because she has done so well for so long. But now that she is so sick, I'm just utterly at a place where I don't know what to pray for.
Obviously I dont' want her to die. My husband and my children NEED her, as well as, my FIL and BIL. She is like the leader, so to speak, of the family. Atleast,LOL, she has always tried to be! That would cause us to butt heads every now and then, but I love her and need her too!
Obviously I don't want her to continue on in pain anymore either. She is a child of God. I know when she goes, she is going home! She will have no pain, no sorrow, only a joy that is unspeakable. Yet, the thought of her leaving us is just too much.
So all I can do is pray for God's Will to be done. I can't pray selfishly. I love her too much for that. I can't ask God to take her home either, I love her too much for that.
So I pray for HIS WILL to be done. He is the only one who knows what SHE needs. This is about Her. Not us.
Please join me in prayer for my MIL. Please ask God to allow HIS WILL to be done her in life. To do whatever HE knows needs to be done. A divine healing would be WONDERFUL, but that may not be his plan. I don't know His plan. HE knows His plan. Please ask HIM to reveal to me what I need to do to prepare my family for whatever it is we will be facing.
I guess in my heart of hearts I feel like her time has come. She is just so sick and in so much pain. I don't want her to die, but I don't want her miserable either.
Thank you for reading all of this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. May God Bless you all.
Thank you so much for the prayers. My family really appreciates it.
I called her Cancer Dr today and spoke with his nurse. We want to get home health set up for her. We talked for a bit, but she said she could not give me any real info regarding MIL's treatment because she had not given them permission to release her medical info to anyone. With HIPPA laws they have to be careful. But she then said that she would talk to the Dr because we have real concerns about the amount of pain MIL is in.
The Dr himself called me back! I was so impressed. He told me that she has never told him that she is having such horrible pain. He said that he thought it would be a really good idea if we came to her Dr visits with her because she is just not telling him things he needs to know.
He also said that he is going to discuss with her the fact that her treatment is no longer working and should be stopped. There is no other treatment options. He also said that when he talks with her about this he is going to suggest Hospice to start coming out. He went on to say that he could not give a time frame of death but that her prognosis is very very poor. He expectes less than 6 months. I knew this, I can tell by looking at her. But it hurt so bad for him to say that.
I was somewhat surprised that he was so open with me about her care. But I have met him several times when she was in the hospital and everytime we had lots of questions that he answered. Of course MIL was in the room at the time, but he knows that I am very involved in her care. Plus, I believe he thought that we needed to know so we can do everything we can to help her get comfortable. I don't know why she won't tell him she is in so much pain. I wonder if it's because she doesn't want too much medication in her system that she sleeps all the time. I just don't know.
Again, thank you all for your prayers.
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I will continue to pray.
She may be afraid of sleeping away all her time. Hopefully they can give her something and she can still be awake enough to enjoy time with family.
:grouphug:
your post brings back so many memories.... like you, i have loved a terminally ill family member... my younger brother.
i don't remember when I realized that his time was limited.... but i praise God that it was still several years before he went. and i had time for a long good bye. it sounds like you have been blessed with that as well.
about five months before my brother died, i realized that he was nearing the end. he had given us a scare... so much so, that i had flown out to see him in the hospital... but God surprised us, and gave us those last five months.
not being in denial about it was a real blessing for me... it gave me the opportunity to bring my family out to see him.. for that last good bye.
and i have been right there with you.... what do i pray for? his life was so horrid.... he was on ten liters of oxygen... he couldn't get out of his seat to go to the bathroom.... he could hardly walk from the bed to his chair... his daughter had basically melted down.... and was institutionalized... he had no wife. only his mother to care for him.... he had truly lost everything that he ever valued... and he was in constant physical pain....
my brother never made it to hospice.... although he probably should have been there... it was his next step...
in his last days, he told me how much the serenity prayer meant to him.... and it seemed like the right thing to pray....
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
and in the end, I surrendered to His will.... and enjoyed every last moment.... every last call... every last email... every last "i love you, sis" from my baby brother....
julie
feelingreyt, our mil, your whole family, is in my prayers tonight. I pray for God to reach down and lift the burden of pain, so that in her remaining time she may have some peace from that torment. I pray the God strengthens your entire family, so that you will know peace when it is time to let her go. I ask him to bind your family closely, so that her passing does not leave a void, but instead draws all of you closer together, knitting the bonds that will keep you strong in your love, your family and your faith. You speak of your mil as your family leader - she goes ahead to pave the way for all of you.
Julie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. That had to be so hard on your family.
Your strength and your insight inspire me.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Mrsred,
Thank you so much. Your words touched my heart.
I have a question and I need an honest answer.....
Do you think I gave up on MIL too soon? You know, the Bible tells us to Stand firm on God's Word and when we've done all we can do, continue to Stand.
He sent His son Jesus to die for us. His body was broken so we may be healed. He shed His blood, that we may be forgiven.
Faith is the Substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.
Did my wavering Faith stand in the way of her healing? I feel like I should have fasted more, prayed more and I still should be. I should not have lost hope. God is the great physician, not some Dr with a fancy title or degree.
I now pray for her to be comfortable, without pain. I should still be praying for a Divine Healing. A Divine Intervention from Our God Almighty!
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Feelinggrey, your wavering faith did not stand in the way of your MIL's healing. God knows and hears the true desires of our hearts.
I'm praying for your family and God's will be done in your MIL's life.
On Friday night, I got a call saying that my cousin's three-and-a-half-week old daughter had stopped breathing and was in the hospital. I prayed that this new little cousin would be healed. Saturday morning, I get a call saying Savannah Phylis was on life support and brain dead. But I know our God, is the greatest healer. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. I prayed that God's will be done in Savannah's life.
On Saturday afternoon, her parents turned off her life support and she died less than a minute later. God's will was for her to hear "Well done, my good and faithful one." The reason she had been created she had fulfilled in her short time on this planet.
I don't believe my not praying specifically for Savannah's healing stopped God from healing her. I had complete faith that God would do what was best for her because He loved her more than we ever could and knew what was best for her. He loves your MIL the same way and will do whatever is best for His child.
Feeling, I have been thinking about you and your family all weekend. How are you all doing? Have you made it to your MIL next appt so that you can learn more and disclose more to the Dr?
I know for my DH's health issues, when I don't go they don't get the whole story either and then I usually have to make follow up appts where I can attend.
I had an aunt that died of Lymphoma cancer, sorry if I spelled it wrong. She did what she could to hold on till her daughter graduated HS. Anyway, she was in a ton of pain as well and ended up seeing a pain specialist and had a morphine pump put in. Is there a pain specialist in your area?
As for prayers, I pray for your family every night to find peace at what ever decision God makes about your MIL. It is never easy. I know for my aunt, she requested near the end that we pray for the pain to stop. It was not a request to go or to stay, just to make it easier on her. Maybe that is what your MIL really needs, pain to stop till God's plan is complete.
Sorry it took so long to respond. I've had a busy week. My dad has been in the hospital. He had a Heart Catherization and they had to put 2 stints in his artery. He has to go back in 3 weeks for more stints.
When it rains it pours around here!
But I have to say that God was in control the whole time. The procedure went very smoothly with no complications. Our God is so good!
Finally,
Thank you for your continued prayers.
My MIL will be going to the Dr. on Monday and my husband is going with her. She will be having a bone scan, biopsy, and a few more tests. Hopefully we will know even more after the results are back.
My main concern right now is her pain. Controlling her pain is the focus of my prayers for her right now. She is just to miserable.
Yash,
You are so right. God does love all His children, even those that don't accept Him. I believe that He doesn't want anyone to suffer.
I am so very very sorry to hear about your cousin's baby. That is truly heartbreaking. I can not even imagine what they are going through.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Feeling, I am so sorry that it is all coming in on you at once. Glad to hear your father made it out of the surgeries and all okay. My father had a heart attack about 11 years ago and luckily didn't need the stints. Prayers that nothing else happens in your family right now.
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finallyamom0310
Feeling, I am so sorry that it is all coming in on you at once. Glad to hear your father made it out of the surgeries and all okay. My father had a heart attack about 11 years ago and luckily didn't need the stints. Prayers that nothing else happens in your family right now.
Finally,
It is so scary when your parents have heart trouble. How is your dad doing now?
My dad had a quadbypass 8 yrs ago. He has had trouble ever since. I'm hoping that after his next procedure he will back in tip top shape!
My mom has had a heart attack too. It really is scary.
He is actually great. Since my mother was still alive when the heart attack happened, she got him on a great diet. Then when she passed 5 months later, he let himself go for awhile. Somehow over the years he has come to realize that it was meant for him to survive the heart attack and her to go. Our thoughts were that God chose her over him so that we kids could really get to know my father. Till then all we knew was via my mother. Anyway, not to bring you down, he finally realized he needed to live for himself and has lost a ton of weight, exercises every day and now has a GF that is really helpful in keeping him on track.
finallyamom0310
He is actually great. Since my mother was still alive when the heart attack happened, she got him on a great diet. Then when she passed 5 months later, he let himself go for awhile. Somehow over the years he has come to realize that it was meant for him to survive the heart attack and her to go. Our thoughts were that God chose her over him so that we kids could really get to know my father. Till then all we knew was via my mother. Anyway, not to bring you down, he finally realized he needed to live for himself and has lost a ton of weight, exercises every day and now has a GF that is really helpful in keeping him on track.
I'm sure your mom is pleased that you were able to really get to know your dad.
It's so funny, in an ironic sort of way, how things happen.
It's great to hear that your dad is doing so well now! You must be very proud of him for taking control of his weight and doing all that he can to be healthy!
For those that may not have seen my post in the general forum...
My mother in law passed away on 11-08-2008. We are sad and heartbroken, but we know that she is with God, in Heaven. That gives us great comfort.
Update on my dad: He is doing great! His procedure was the day after my MIL funeral. I was stressed to the MAX. But God was there with us all and helped get us through everything.
I want to thank you all, again, for your prayers and thoughts. May God bless you all.
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feelingreyt
For those that may not have seen my post in the general forum...
My mother in law passed away on 11-08-2008. We are sad and heartbroken, but we know that she is with God, in Heaven. That gives us great comfort.
Update on my dad: He is doing great! His procedure was the day after my MIL funeral. I was stressed to the MAX. But God was there with us all and helped get us through everything.
I want to thank you all, again, for your prayers and thoughts. May God bless you all.
I'm so relieved to hear about your Dad...I've been praying that everything went well...
lovemy2boys
I'm so relieved to hear about your Dad...I've been praying that everything went well...
Thank you so much for your prayers.