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I just came back from an interesting conference that was recovery based. It was also gay-based, which made it even more interesting.
One of the conference workshops each year is on Adoptees in Sobriety. I went to it years ago for 2 or 3 consecutive years in the first few years of my sobriety then I stopped attending that particular conference as it is in my home state and I began attending other, larger AA conferences throughout the country. I also came to the conclusion that for me, my local mainstream AA offered more old timers with the leadership I needed in order to gain a solid program of recovery. I came out as a kid and did not suffer from many of the problems that people have when they come out in sobriety. To each her own, however, and I do find that special interest groups in AA offer excellent support for their fellowships and I attend occasionally to celebrate with friends, etc. Actually, I have become a Big Book step study advocate in sobriety.
Anyway - when I attended this conference this year I made it a point to do this Adoptees workshop. I was shocked to see how many people came. They had to bring in more chairs and we far exceeded the size of the room.
I've done a LOT of work in AA, therapy, and in adoption as some of you might know. But it didn't prepare me for how frustrated I am STILL with being a triple minority in this country. There was a LOT of discussion on how adoption is a Core Issue for most Adoptees who are trying to stay sober. Just being central to who we are. Kind of a DUH, right? But the more I listened, the more I realize that I have so much work left to do. It was rather depressing - certainly humbling - and overall, a good observation offered to me by God.
But here's the clincher - one of the lesbians, who also happened to be African-American, made such a basic remark that was so obvious that it completely took me aback. All she said was, "why should I have to wait one whole year to talk about this unique situation with others who are also in this same situation?"
Ya know - that baffled me. Why? Good question?
I want to know - are we out there? How many other recovering alkies and addicts are struggling with the Core Issue of adoption? Are there others of us who are struggling with the added dilemma of being Gay or another minority in an adoptive family or in society in general? Are we large enough to warrant more focused discussion and if so, would we rally to actually maintain the dialog so that others could be helped?
I don't know. I just needed to post this today. If you are reading this and have any positive insight to share, I would be grateful. Do not share hate on this post. It won't serve either you or the others who are desperate to preserve their sobriety.
Thanks for listening and thanks in advance for your thoughts.
Radiodoll
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