I need help fast

How did you decide adoption was right? How did you handle the 9 months? Adoption was the only choice that felt right, for me. I really can't explain it. The pregnancy was hard emotionally. But, to be honest with you it was a lot easier than the seperation. The years afterward were very difficult for me. Adoption is not an easy road to travel. I was not prepared for the years of missing my little one. I don't think that is something that you can comprehend until you've been there. I have never regretted the pregnancy and giving my child life! She has had a great life with an amazing family. It was very difficult, but I love her! :) I don't know that I helped you any. This is just my experience. It's a tough decision to make. Please, take your time, be confident that your choice is the right choice for you. Only you know what feels right for you. I hope you find peace in your decision! :)

Are you sure that parenting is not an option? I know things seem overwhelming right now, but both abortion and adoption are permanent solutions to a temporary situation. I was in denial about my pregnancy until it was too late to get an abortion. I can't help but wonder if I didn't want to have that as an option, I know I would have gotten a lot of pressure to get one. I don't know what it's like after having one, since I never have. I do know that my son did say to me 'thanks for not getting rid of me' which really hit home that having him was the right thing to do. Yes, being pregnant was hard, but like a lot of expectant mothers with an adoption plan I sort of separated myself from the baby. Sure I bonded with him, but I knew I wanted to relinquish so I felt like I was doing good things for him so that his family would get a healthy baby. Does that make sense to you? Now, I was 18 and a freshman in college when I found out I was pregnant. I had pressure from my parents that being a single mom would 'ruin my life' and that I couldn't be a good parent. You are a single mom right now. I'm sure you don't feel like your daughter is ruining your life and I'm sure you feel that you're a good parent! Like I said, is there any possibility that you could raise this child as well? I don't think potential ridicule from your ex or anyone else should really affect your decision! Be strong within yourself. It's no one else's business but your own here, and perhaps the father of the child you're carrying(he would be responsible for child support if you decide to parent you know). Adoption is not an easy path. Actually there are no easy choices (you've realised that though already). BUT you WILL make it through this, whatever your decision is. If you decide not to have an abortion, then take the time to ask a lot of questions, read stories here, think about if you want to try to parent, and if not, what kind of adoption would be best for you. I felt like I didn't have any choice 23 years ago. No options were really presented to me. I wish I'd had the option of an open adoption. I know it still would have been hard, but it would have helped me to know where he was while he was growing up. Sorry I've gone on so long! I'm trying to avoid the 'you'll know what's right and if you don't know, don't make any decisions yet'!! I'm just trying to tell it like it is! Please ask more questions and let us know what you decide. I wish you all the best.

Abortion has long term effects on women. It sounds like it is a rushed choice and given more time and a clear head you might not choose it. My prayers are with you!! Blessings I wanted to add, I had the stigma of "getting knocked-up" by a man who wasn't my husband. I decided the baby wasn't at fault and really people can be better than you think. My husband was very kind, but he has always had a good heart. Most people were a lot more understanding than I expected. I gave her up for adoption and I don't regret it. She has thanked me for her life. I feel God deserves that thanks but I understand she is glad I didn't abort.

Ann, this REALLY is your choice, I have already PM you with my journey involving all 3 scenarios and CHOICES... Thank GOD we have CHOICE! These are really answers only YOU will know when the time comes...no matter which you end up choosing. There are some really smart people here at a.com, and have helped me tremendously. If you feel this morning you are unsure to go have your procedure, then simply call and cancel it, you have more time, not alot but some. I will say to you that NOTHING compares to relinquishing a child...NOTHING! Open Adoption is always touted here, I think this is a wonderful option...BUT, there is NO law that says the apents whom raise your children, have to keep it open...there is NOTHING you can do once you sign your child over...YOU no longer exist in the eyes of the law...you never were their MOM...because you signed to cease that right. So be very cautious when being told of how great adoption(open/semi) is for you and your child. Adoption like most other industries is a profitable business, they want your baby and some one is willg to say and do anything for your baby, of course for a price! I wish you luck and remember we are here , if for no other reason to come vent, scream and rage!

how r u this morning? What did you decide?

Abortion is somethng that you will have to live with until the day you die.. SOme will say the same holds true with adoption, but at least with adoption there is always the chance of knowing this innocent baby. Especially these days of open adoptions. An abortion is just too final. The baby is gone, dead and that is it. Even though you might appear on the outside that the baby never existed, you know in your heart and sould that the baby di in fact exist. Ask yourself if this is something you are willing to live with. The very fact that you are posting and questioning your desicion tells me that that small voice inside you knows not to go through with the abortion. As far as adoption, unlike an abortion, you do not have to make a rush decision, you have time to consider your option. I suggest you get some counseling and not from an adoption agency either.. I know that the time frame for an abortion is limited, but is there any way that you can maybe cancel today's appointment and take a bit of time to rethink this and them possible reschedule if you really feel abrtion is what you want? Maybe talk to a councelor in the meanwhile. I pray whatever you decide it is a decision you are at peace with and are able to live with. EZ

I would encourage you actually to NOT make a decision now. You have a long time to research your options. It sounds as if abortion is not the right choice for you - and that's okay. Just a reminder that adoption.com is not a matching site. So it is against our rules for anyone to contact you in hopes of adopting your baby. It is also against the rules for you to contact another member hoping they will adopt your baby. If anyone does contact you please let either myself or one of the other mods know.

Dear young mom, Please choose life for this baby. One of my deepest regrets is that as a nurse I helped to abort several developing children. Now I would gladly adopt and raise a child that was the result of an unexpected pregnancy. You will be in my heart and prayers. With great kindness and respect.