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This one may bear watching [URL="http://forums.adoption.com/general-adoptive-parent-support/335185-bmom-didnt-show-up-recital.html"]http://forums.adoption.com/general-adoptive-parent-support/335185-bmom-didnt-show-up-recital.html[/URL]
Even Brandy's getting into the action!
Susiebearhug has just revived her thread about the bfamily who didn't come to her daughter's dance recital. I understand that she's hurt for her daughter but there seems to be a possibility that Stormster and RobinK will really lock horns!
That's going to be one to watch for sure.
Wow..that's a really disheartening thing to say.:( It's not a new statement or belief held by some by any means, but it's a "cringe" moment everytime.
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I've posted a little reminder that I think the perspective is coming from involuntary relinquishment and foster care adoption.
It's still a cringe moment for me personally, but it can be very different how people view firstparents when coming from that background, so just wanted to get that out there to kind of mediate a bit.
It's worth a try. Although, why people think that families who "relinquish involuntarily" will automatically be able to change and "clean up their acts" as soon as the kids are removed is beyond me.
I don't think most do, but then again, you look at your kid and you think "I'd move heaven and earth to do what I needed to do for you"....kwim? That love defies logic at times.:)
Course...18 months is a long time to not make changes to get your kids back too, so it can be "easy" to think "they just didn't love their kids".
Nothing is ever easy!
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I can understand that. I can get so frustrated with my former DIL (and to a lesser extent with my son). Shaunie is 14 years old and she still hasn't gotten her life together. She's currently in jail (again) on a drug charge. Shaunie lives with his other grandmother and is with us most of the summer. (He doesn't like the idea of my moving from here.) It is a long story, but it would be easy to assume she doesn't love Shaunie. She definitely loves him, but she has never been able to put his needs ahead of her own. It's sad really.
crick
, but it can be very different how people view firstparents when coming from that background, so just wanted to get that out there to kind of mediate a bit.
i agree.....and since being here and reading other people's take on things, i have realized that even the parents of my children who made awful parents DID love their kids. they had problems that kept them from parenting correctly...and like kathy said, putting the needs of the children ahead of their own, but i don't know that it had to do anything with a lack of love. i think until we "meet" people from the other side, it is easy for f.parents to put all birth families in the same box.