What do birthparents look for when choosing a profile?

Hi, Each birthmother differs in what they look for when choosing parents for their child. I can only give my opinion and tell you what I wanted/didn't want.Wanted:Pictures of family that the child would grow up with.Parents with the same religious affiliation.Forthcoming information that speaks of their individuality, values, interests, and personal ambitions for the future.I also asked to read letters of recommendation from friends and church leaders. Down to earth middle class couple.People that understood their shortcomings as individuals and a married couple.A couple that was active in their community/church in someway.Did not want:A happy generic depiction of who they are ( no Brady Bunch image).Cosmopolitan or wealthy couple. Couple with mixed religious beliefs.Tons and tons of picturesI can remember the first profile I read did not give me any sense about what they where like. It was just generic info. job, vacations, age, how many years they did this or that...it was nothing that spoke of who they are. If you asked me "what are they like?" I would not have been able to answer. In the third profile. I got a glimse of who they are and what they value. I did learn later on, however, that some birthmothers choose with little info on the couple and some never meet them. Again, each birthmother has different ideas about who they are looking for. I hope this information is useful for you and that you have a sense of peace while putting together your profile." When all else fails, the future remains."

Thank you so much for taking the time to write...I really do appreciate it...all the best, jm

I could list out the things I was looking for or the things that led me to choose who I chose but it won't help you. It won't help you because thats what I was looking for and I won't be the one evaluating your profile. As you embark on this journey and decide to match with someone you are forming a relationship. Depending on the level of openness you are seeking it could be a close relationship or it could be one in which you never meet or it could be somewhere in between. Regardless the person or people who choose you need to get a sense of who you are. So don't edit out or include things because you think its what an expectant mother or couple would want. Include things that you think are important. A person who also thinks those things are important will more than likely be the one who chooses you and that is something to build the relationship on.

I just want to say thank you to all of you that helped me by writing your experiences down...this is a process where you rely on what your agency/attorney is telling you...much of which I was unsure about, which is why I wanted to pose this question...I don't really feel like there is a "right" way to write it. Most importantly and I thank you all for reiterating this point, we need to come across as who we really are. I find it so sad and disappointing that there are still potential adoptive parents today that mislead or lie about what type of relationship they are willing to have. You are giving the greatest gift of all to us and whatever level of open or closedness you would like needs to be honored and respected. So again, thank you so much for all your help! jm

when you see the profile of the people who are soposed to raise your child, you just know. No matter what the profiles like, if it is God's plan for your child, you just know. Don't worry about the profile to much, just keep it straight to the point, honest and simple.

I think it is different for everyone, I know my parents were chosen by my birthmother because they had a dog and non of the other option had any animals, and it was important to her I was around animals...

WHen I chose my sons parents, I just knew they were the right people. I was guided by God who knew where this child belonged.

I felt like this also-- for the most part-- once I had that feeling, I looked to see if things that I felt were important for him were mentioned..even if not in great detail... The fact that he was going to a couple who believed a close extended family was important kinda just sealed the deal for me.... you really just need to let the letter reflect who you are as people... there's really not much more to say about it--- I met my sons parents and after speaking with them for about 5 minutes, I knew I had chosen wisely---- Good Luck to you- and I hope things work out for you soon, but patience can also be a virtue--- Just be yourselves that will be EXACTLY what someone is looking for..... Kerri

They're all, individually, looking for their checklist of things. Anything that didn't match at all got put aside. Those that were missing a few things got put in a maybe pile. And those that had everything I was looking for were put in the interview pile.The interview pile was small, btw.