Advice need on Pictures for bmom

I love any photos - photos of my child alone, with friends, family, etc. As for letters the more descriptive and the more details the better. :)

Anything and everything is how I look at it.

I'm from the closed adoption era but what I like to get now that we're in reunion... I'm with everyone else. I guess I prefer snapshots over professional ones generally- professional ones are nice to see but snapshots talk about life. KWIM? I also think the more information the better. I wonder if narrative letters written as to a friend or another letter would not only be appreciated but hopefully help with your relationship with the birth mother in the long run? Worth a shot!

Is this a private adoption or through foster care? How much contact information does the birthmom have? DO you have any privacy concerns? I am a foster parent and I try to offer pictures to the birth parents fairly often. I also have an open adoption with my son's birthmom - I adopted him through foster care. Here is my advice for a foster care situation: I offer snapshots. I try to include every season and any major events (birthday, holidays, vacations - particularly if the parent has given permission for us to travel, she gets a thank you note on our return with pictures). If I am going to a meeting with birth mom foster care review, court dates) I try to bring pictures - these are stressfull times for her and for me and offering pictures can cut the tension. I generally send close ups, though action shots too. I only send photos of the child - never family or friends. I scan every photo and make sure that identifying information is cropped out (for example: if we are takng pictures outside I make sure that our home address and/or license plates are not capured in the picture). When describing photos I tend to be vague about the locations (we went to "a farm" instead of we went to "Bob's farm in Atown") I also try to make sure that I send happy and clean pictures. By clean I don't mean that I never send a picture of a proud "dirty" moment. Pictures of him digging in the dirt to find worms and covered in dirt are okay. Pictures of him after smashing macaroni and tomato sauce all over his face are okay. Pictures with drippy noses I rule out. I also consider the bmom - I have worked with some moms who are very particular about their child being clean - I don't give them muddy, messy fun digging in the dirt or macaroni face pictures. Good luck.

our adoption was done through a private agency. We started with an open adoption plan, but due to crimes committed by the bmom, the plan is now semi-open. We are not in immediate danger, but she does not know our last names, or where we live. All communication takes place through the adoption agency. She is very young and not mature, which is the only reason we are open to becoming open in the future. We have hope that she will serve her time, and become the mom she needs to be to her other children. Thanks for the advice. I was not hip on professional pictures, because they so often do not let the true personality of the child show through. I was also not sure if pictures of her with other/our family members would be appreciated. She is a beautiful baby and takes wonderful pictures. I will try to write more descriptive letters in the future. I have to put my own feelings aside. The last letter was just the facts. I had a hard time writing it, because of the struggle I am having with our relationship. For those of you who pray please pray for M-(the bmom of my daughter) she is young with 3 other children and is facing jail time. She will find out her sentence next week. Her children are in DFACS custody.

our adoption was done through a private agency. We started with an open adoption plan, but due to crimes committed by the bmom, the plan is now semi-open. We are not in immediate danger, but she does not know our last names, or where we live. All communication takes place through the adoption agency. She is very young and not mature, which is the only reason we are open to becoming open in the future. We have hope that she will serve her time, and become the mom she needs to be to her other children. Thanks for the advice. I was not hip on professional pictures, because they so often do not let the true personality of the child show through. I was also not sure if pictures of her with other/our family members would be appreciated. She is a beautiful baby and takes wonderful pictures. I will try to write more descriptive letters in the future. I have to put my own feelings aside. The last letter was just the facts. I had a hard time writing it, because of the struggle I am having with our relationship. For those of you who pray please pray for M-(the bmom of my daughter) she is young with 3 other children and is facing jail time. She will find out her sentence next week. Her children are in DFACS custody.

our adoption was done through a private agency. We started with an open adoption plan, but due to crimes committed by the bmom, the plan is now semi-open. We are not in immediate danger, but she does not know our last names, or where we live. All communication takes place through the adoption agency. She is very young and not mature, which is the only reason we are open to becoming open in the future. We have hope that she will serve her time, and become the mom she needs to be to her other children. Thanks for the advice. I was not hip on professional pictures, because they so often do not let the true personality of the child show through. I was also not sure if pictures of her with other/our family members would be appreciated. She is a beautiful baby and takes wonderful pictures. I will try to write more descriptive letters in the future. I have to put my own feelings aside. The last letter was just the facts. I had a hard time writing it, because of the struggle I am having with our relationship. For those of you who pray please pray for M-(the bmom of my daughter) she is young with 3 other children and is facing jail time. She will find out her sentence next week. Her children are in DFACS custody.

Anything is fine by me. I don't get pictures in the mail and have never gotten a letter, so I can't help you with that. I do have to say that if you ever decide she is safe, pictures with friends and family are good. I like to see who kiddo's family are, it is reassuring, but I understand that at this point our situations are different. I hope for everyone's sake, that changes for you.

First I must commend you own keeping your promise above and beyond the call of duty on this one. I would have to mostly agree with everyone else on this one. Although in my opinion "in the moment" pictures are probably better for showing the happiness of the child over professional. Also I must bring up (ok not ever using the web service you mentioned) please keep in mind most Bmoms or Bparents can't afford to purchase much. Another option comes to mind that if you keep a shoebox or album for her of pictures that she could recieve when she turned her life around. Hope we where helpfull.

Thank you all for your advice. Shortly after Thanksgiving I will be writing the December letter and choosing pictures to mail. I will keep in mind the advice that you have given to me. Also, just to clarify, FLicker is not only for purchasing photos. It is also an online photo album. Photos can be stored in groups so that those viewing can find what they are looking for, and they can leave comments. In my next letter to the bmom I will let her know to comment on which photos she would like to have hard copies of that way she will have some say in what we send to her. Keep praying. This is not easy for any of us, and she still blames me for her loosing her other children to DFACS. BUt like many in other post in other topics have said it is not really about us it is about the children, who had no say in the situation. Thanks again.

I had a closed adoption so I got no pictures for the first 32 years. I am enjoying getting pictures of my bgrandchilden as they grow and change. The younger they are, pics that show how fast they are growing are helpful I think. As they get older and don't change as much, I would think occasions from first day at school, new haircut, birthdays, Christmas, just having fune, etc. wood be good. D and his wife use snapfish, btw. I personally like it when D makes copies of pics of himself as a child. I like seeing him with his aparents and family. (But, of course, I relinquished voluntarily.) I hope the bmom gets her life together. (Sadly, my son J's exwife hasn't managed it at 35 and is once again in jail of drug charges. It is so hard on my 14 yr old Grandson.)