Looking for support/sense of community

Hi Valerie,First I have to say that I am not in your position, so I cannot know what you are going through--I hope you get some responses from people who can empathize as well. Its understandable completely that you would want to find a sense of community from your tribe. Although you may not feel that you "look Native", maybe after you take the first step to get in touch with your reserve your feelings will change. Making that first call might be really nerve-racking and hard but you won't know if it will be worth it unless you try. Maybe you'll find that they have programs or ways to get involved for persons that were adopted out of the community. Regardless of how some people might make you feel, you do belong there AND you belong with your adoptive family--you are lucky in that you have two communities. BUT I do understand that it might feel like you have a foot in both worlds but don't fit in in either place. I know another person who is Native who is very fair skinned (and he has blue eyes)--he really looks European--and it is hard for him to feel like he fits in too. It must be very hard, I am sorry you are going through this. Keep trying to reach out to find community--you are not the only one. Good luck!!

Hi Valarie- I too am in the same situation.. I am an adoptee who was found at the age of 41 years.. I grew up in a white world, and have been enrolled in my appropriate tribal affiliation.. I have one of the Greatest Native American Painters for a Great Uncle (George Morrison) and I have been treated by my tribe like I do not belong there either.. Its sad.. I know how you feel.. I felt the daggers in my back when I marched in the First nations Procession in Washington D.C., when they opened up the National American Indian Museum in 2004. My Uncle was one of the two main featured Artists when they opened up the NAIM Smithsonian. I didnt care what they thought!! You belong!! And the more you carry yourself as you "do belong" the more you will prevail! Do not let a few arrogant people pass their doubts your way.. Its in our nature to feel rejected.. Let it go.. Its your right to be here/there... It will only bother them.. Your here to stay!! It's been long overdue, and nothing should hold you back from culture.. Parade like a peacock! And enjoy the journey learning the culture.. After so many years you will find that things come so natural... Believe in yourself, that its your right to be present.. And snuff those who cast glances your way... Susie/Cricket xoxo

I forgot to add that I too, look white.. I was raised white! I looked into the mirror and saw a white girl.. When I looked into the mirror at the age of 41, after meeting my birth family, it was then when I saw myself as a "Native American" Since then, I have embraced it 110% My Birth Mother (Cathee Dahmen) was one of the very first ever Super Models.. She was an enrolled Band Member with the MN Chippewa-Grand Portage Band. Cathee was an Eileen Ford Model.. I too look white, and only until recently see myself as a Native American Woman... 40 years of being white, and then one day I woke up, after I was located/found and now I see myself as the person I should have been raised as. The Native will come to you, once you open up the flood gate, and it will overcome you, when your ready.. I wished I had discovered my culture earlier, but have accepted the way that it has happened.. Others are always hear to talk to!! Susie/Cricket

Thanks Susie. I just don't know. It just seems like too much work and hassle for little benefit. I've grown up white and even though, blood wise I'm not, my social background is and there is nothing wrong with that. You're right, some times you need to let go and maybe this is one of the things that needs to pass and then I'll be happier. I have not had a bad life. I think it's the "adoption" piece we all struggle with, the being given away that creates a sense of loss that is hard to let go. I'll think some more about it. Thanks again, Valerie

Hey Val, Just remember, tribes often inducted or took in people of other races. Hence not all will follow some generic appearance formula. We Inuit took in a few vikings and whalers on the east coast of Canada. It's not unheard of to see an Inuit with a bit of red hair in their features. Yet I'm 100% Inuit. Who knows what genetic traits made their way into your system many hundreds of years ago. I myself am a giant as Inuits go, being 6'3". But we had British mutineers in our family over 150 years ago. I'm probably evidence of it.

Hi! I know what you are going through is very real but I just wanted to give you another perspective. It really bothers me that I don't know WHAT my heritage is. I look Italian - in fact look enough like my a-dad that everyone always says I "take" after him - but I would LOVE to know just "WHAT" I am. I feel "fake" - like I don't really exist because I don't know my history. You are lucky that you found your heritage - regardless of how "others" perceive you.

Yes, I can see that would be difficult. However, I recently heard a stmt from a guy who's a life coach say, "You're race, ethinicity and gender" and the least interesting things about you". It's your values and how you translate that into your life that a far more important. I think a lot of adoptees get caught up in this "heritage" thing and totally forget what "values" and personality make you who you are. Most white people are just that, white. They don't participate in their "heritage". Most say "I'm English, Irish", etc etc, but you don't see them going off and participating in cultural things very often. Yes, heritage can be important, but it's not "who" you are. Look inside, you're in there. Good luck

hi! my name is Cat. i am either half or a quarter Cherokee. i have dark blonde hair, blue/green/grey/gold eyes (weird right!), light gold skin, & Cherokee facial features. people tell me i look white but not. i say thanks! i know my b-mom was either full or half Cherokee. i am still waiting on my non-id info. my parents know a little about my mom but not much. i want to belong to my Cherokee heritage but am terrified i won't be accepted. thanks for listening yall! Cat