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MM,
I am sure that this is going to sound like a highly scattered mess of words, please bare with me through the confusion and misspelled words. At this time, I will not go into the long drawn out story and will try to make short and sweet.
On Yule as I was preparing for the Blessed day of new beginings, I sat at my computer to get the final touches on my ritual and other things done. Well I got a message from my 15yr old son that shattered my heart once again. This has been going on for some time. He wants nothing to do with me, called me his favorite names for me again (FB), told me once again how much of a terrible mother I have been to him over the last few years.. I could continue, though the bottome line is his request for his father's second wife to adopt him.
I can not handle my heart being shattered every couple of months, just about the time I think I have started to pick the pieces back up and put them back. The emotional roller coaster is driving me crazy. Just about the time I think him and I are starting to get along again,, WHAM!!!! I have agreed to allow the adoption to go through with no contest from me.
So now here I sit, a couple of days went past with hurt and then the anger set in.. Now I have started to unleash the anger on my friends around me that have no idea what is going on, nor do I want them to know as most are new friends and I do not feel that they need to know. Our friendship is only just a couple of months old.. I do not want someone just out of the blue asking how the adoption is going, or if I have gotten the papers yet..
I also have a 20yr old daughter who has given two beautiful grand babies and has 2 other children from a new found relationship... she has called me everyday to check on me... she is wonderful..
I guess I just need some good advice as to how to deal with the emotions.. I never thought I would be here.. I am even having issues doing my meditations, and that has always been the one thing to calm and center me... and now my ex has taken that from me, yes most of my anger is directed towards him.. Yes I know all about the "anger".. (breathing, breathing... breathing... breathing is my friend.. ) I am sooo trying though to know that this is all because of minds games and the extent that the ex's family has gone to play them... OK I really hope that I have not over stepped any rules here.. sorry if I have.. maybe a private email from someone may be neeeded..
I am seriously I guess in need of a support group in my area.. and some major meditations.. been working on it.. Anyone have some suggestions for this highly emotional, unbalanced Priestess.. needing to be myself again..
Be Safe
Namaste
Angel
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You say your son is only 15, I don't know what is going on regarding your home life but I can tell you that my little brother did the same thing to my mother for years during that time (later teens) where he would just verbally abuse her and say all sorts of horrible things to her claiming to hate her etc etc..
He didn't have a stepmother to run too and ask to adopt him in order to hurt my mother or I am certain he would have. He tried emancipation at one point but couldn't support himself so it fell through.
My point is that it was extremely difficult emotionally for everyone in my family but especially my mother. There were drugs and other issues involved for my brother as well that I hope aren't present for your son, but I don't think you should give up. Once my brother grew up a little and got wise he realized what he was putting everyone through and started thinking less of 'self' and more of family. Now we still have issues but he makes a visible effort to let my parents and my mother know how much he loves them.
It was hard but now it is a lot better than it was.
I just want to say don't give up, and don't give him what he wants by letting him hurt you in this way. You love him that is obvious, soon enough it will become obvious to him as well.
I am sorry I have no words of comfort other than to tell you that I think it will get better for you. I wish you the brightest blessings Mama!
15-year-old boys are a mess of hormones and should not be allowed to make permanent decisions about anything of importance. Tell him you are his mother and you still care about him. He can wait 36 months and arrange his own adoption when he is 18 if that is what he still wants.Frequently, as children get older their parents get smarter. I was the stupidest mother in the entire world when my daughters were teenagers. Ten years later I am so smart that they actually -- ask my opinion! It's a miracle! You hold on - your daughter is proof that you did things right!
