Need some help

Ok so I haven't visited this board for the longest time, I starting coming here daily when I was searching for my birth family, and I had some help, and found my mom and dad still no sign of my brother though. =( But here is the issue what happened after the reunion that I need advice on. I've been hurt but I still love em'. I don't know what to do... So here is the story, it may get long.... Ok so the sweetest lady on here who lives only about 20 minutes from me offered to help me search for my biological parents. And she found my dad and my mom actually contacted me through my cousin. Ok I guess i need to give you an overview of the adoption, My brother and i was adopted when I was 4 but fostered at the age of 1 so our families had us for 3 years while our parents had the chance to get thier **** together, but it never happened and we were adopted, both parents were alcoholics, and wern't taking care of us. My dad was never home, always out drinking and i guess sleeping around. And so I always thought of my dad as my hero, the one who saved my life, the one who I wanted to meet, All i remember is bad memories about my mother, but had nothing on my dad. I wasn't sure about ever meeting my mom. But she found me and I was excited being 18 and not knowing what I really wanted. Now I wish I took more time to find out what I really wanted but too late now. Ok so the lady found my real dad from his court records the day before christmas 3 years ago. Which upset me that he had a record but I got over it and met him, and his wife at the time. He was everything I dreamed. I was just happy to have him in my life again, I wanted the father daughter relationship I always dreamed about, I'm not close to my adopted father at all. So I wanted that closeness with my real dad. I wanted to be a daddys girl again. So I would always tell him I loved him and give him hugs and was always there for the holidays, and i was even in his wedding. My life was complete finally. And then he starting always wantign to take me drinking ( I was underage) and would always try to kiss me on the lips (I'd always move last minute so he got the cheek) And would just act really flirty, once he even touched my leg where no man should touch... His excuse was he had money in his hand to give me. If he wasn't drinkin he was smoking. BUt I loved him despite his problems. I wanted my daddy back! I dreamed about it all my life! Then I met my husband, who my dad got along with, and we invited my dad to be one of the first people at the hospital when our daughter was born. I wanted him to feel apart of my life. Then things got bad between my husband and I, so I left him hoping my dad would have my back, stand by my side, but the fruitloop took my husbands side, bought him things to help him keep my daughter from me, My husband lied and my dad helped him. And even when my husband died, my dad didn't even send me a **** sympothy card. I did send him a f u letter, but he could have sent me a card, explaining he didn't do anything, or at least to say sorry. nothing! And I haven't talked since which is about a year now. And my mother has been here through everything! Standed by my side, ya she drinks but isn't an alcoholic anymore, she's changed her life around, I just can't bring myself to forget the lies I've been told about her and get to know her, I'm super nervous around her, I've known her 3 years and have only seen her about 6 times all together. I am trying to give her a chance now which is hard. Is there any way to make it easier? She's shown she cares, and it's not all about going out to drink with her. She honestly loves and misses me. And my dad, I miss him so much! I just wish he'd put down the bottle. But I do feel bad about how things ended. Do you think it's stupid to send him a card with updated pictures of my daughter? Should I write him? I don't know what to do. I miss him but still so hurt by him, I shouldn't have to make the first move, he should! But he won't. So here I am stuck on what to do, anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much for reading.HeLp....