If you adopt through the state/county...they place the child in your home and then finalization doesn't happen til a few months later...
any suggestions on WHEN it would be appropriate to have a shower...? After all, things could happen to disrupt before finalization couldn't it?
This question comes up fairly frequently around here. And there are as many opinions as there are people!
My opinion is to have the shower before any placement at all. After all, you have most baby showers before the child makes his arrival. And the presents are for the parents to use in whatever way they see fit. Presents are given from you to parent. You don't need a baby present for any of that.
You'll get many things in a shower that are useful from the day you pick up your new child. Things you don't want to have to wait days or weeks or months to get.
Have a meet-the-baby party afterwards, when the child is in your home. Have it separate from the baby shower, which you will have already had if you subscribe to my opinion. No presents required at a meet-the-baby party.
This way has the added benefit of not causing any additional shower-related problems should something crop up before finalization that keeps the child from becoming yours.
In most areas, if you have a party where the child attends, and where presents are given to the child, then ALL those presents are to go with the child if he leaves your home. Can you imagine packing up the carseat and highchair (or whatever applies to your age group) if that happened?
You want those shower gifts to be YOURS, that you use for the child. That means if the unthinkable happens and the child must leave your home, you don't get tempted to have a second shower for the next child placed with you. You'll still have all the big stuff, and you just have a second meet-the-baby party, which is OK because it's a different child.
Anyway, that's my opinion. Take it for what you paid for it! You're sure to hear different ones!