You Know You Have a Toddler When . . .

...you get out of the shower to discover your 23 mo old has destroyed an entire box of tampons...and is trying to reinsert the cotton back into the plastic applicators!!!..."don't lick the toilet" is commonly heard...you buy the toddler a new toothbrush because he brushed the dog's teeth this morning with it...you work the phrase "going poopy in the potty like a big boy" into every day conversations...you wait to hear the "thunk" of a toddler falling out of bed...you tell people not to take it personally because your toddler's "BYE!" comes out as "DIE! DIE!"

You can't find a pen in your purse, but if someone needs a toy car, purple octopus, or a Pretty Pony comb, you're all set.

-when every door knob in the house is sticky, and you have no idea from what! -when you wakeup in the morning to your son yelling "mommy I pooped"! -when every night you go to bed you have cars either hidden under your pillow or blanket! -when you feel lonely because you miss putting your arms around your sons little body after only being away from him for only an hour! (Nothing feels the sames as your child)

When everything in the house is broken (cd player, dvd player) because he just can't help trying to work it.When going to the bathroom is a family affair (when YOU have to pee)When the minute you get on the phone, the child who was enthralled with his tv show needs you IMMEDIATELY.When you get home from work and all your fatigue melts away when you hear "mommy! Mommy! Mommy's home" :)

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Not exactly the same list but I totally understand. I'm always trying to find my wallet under diapers, wipes, bottle, formula, toys, etc. I have a toddler! - "ah, oh" is the cutest phrase and the most annoying action (dumping things to make "ah, ohs" - when your house is interior decorated (by the toddler) every time you come home from work - your house smells - conversations with your spouse include what color the toddler's poop was lately - laughing at the things they find funny, even though your know the things are dumb and common (there's a mirror over there) - walking around public, constantly saying, "No, that's not a balloon. It looks like one, though, doesn't it. That's a light." Everyone looks at me like "you got all that out of "ba-ba-oon" - you forget how to talk "grown-up" when talking to adults and older kids.

C is a young toddler (15 months) so some of the above don't apply (yet - the pottying and some of the talking ones). However: "Take your hands out of the toilet" (especially fun when I'm trying to sit down on/ get up from it) Your boss calls at 7:15 am and asks why you just called her (when YOU didn't) You had to move the trash can to another room (behind a gate) because it's just so much fun! Every piece of furniture you own is screwed to the wall. And your bookcases are all covered in screening to keep your child from pulling off the books and ripping them up. And it takes 10 minutes to get into a drawer or cupboard because of the locks. And people who come to visit need instructions to use the toilet (not little people, but big people, because of the complicated toilet lock). And you don't get mail for three days because you forgot to open the baby gate so the mailman could get onto the porch. And your neighbor calls rather than knocks for the same reason. You turn your back to find that a chair pulled out from the kitchen table and a very proud little boy sitting in the middle of it. "Don't stand on the slide. Sit down. (sits and claps) Sit down (sits and claps) Sit down" (sits and claps, then pushes himself backward off and tumbles back-first to the ground. Good thing toddler slides are short and grass is soft!

C is a young toddler (15 months) so some of the above don't apply (yet - the pottying and some of the talking ones). However: "Take your hands out of the toilet" (especially fun when I'm trying to sit down on/ get up from it) Your boss calls at 7:15 am and asks why you just called her (when YOU didn't) You had to move the trash can to another room (behind a gate) because it's just so much fun! Every piece of furniture you own is screwed to the wall. And your bookcases are all covered in screening to keep your child from pulling off the books and ripping them up. And it takes 10 minutes to get into a drawer or cupboard because of the locks. And people who come to visit need instructions to use the toilet (not little people, but big people, because of the complicated toilet lock). And you don't get mail for three days because you forgot to open the baby gate so the mailman could get onto the porch. And your neighbor calls rather than knocks for the same reason. You turn your back to find that a chair pulled out from the kitchen table and a very proud little boy sitting in the middle of it. "Don't stand on the slide. Sit down. (sits and claps) Sit down (sits and claps) Sit down" (sits and claps, then pushes himself backward off and tumbles back-first to the ground. Good thing toddler slides are short and grass is soft!

You know you are the parent of a toddler/preschooler (two of them in my case) when you feel like you have won a gold medal when you navigate a successful grocery shopping trip with the kids in tow with no melt downs.

Your phone conversations with your DH midday have ceased being about what's for dinner and if you want to see a movie and instead are about intake/output..."what did he eat for breakfast ?" "Did he have a poopy diaper yet?"You have a toddler if you have ever actually texted the phrase "he pee peed in the potty!" to someone.You wish you had bought stock in goldfish considering all the crackers you buy...You have some free time while your toddler is with someone else, and what do you choose to do? Go to the grocery store because its nice and relaxing to leisurely shop for groceries without a toddler melting down.You find random things recorded on the DVR and realize Little Man got the remote again...And as for the phone, peanut called a JUDGE I work with twice today!

Not just the parent of any toddler, but a very special and energetic toddler. You are at urgent care (for the second time in 3 days) with a toddler with a temp of 103.5, and said tot is ripping the paper off the exam table, trying to unplug equipment, types something on the computer, and nearly unbalances the vital stats machine (all while being herded by you and a nurse), and the doctor looks at you and says "this is him with a temp of 103? You must be tired a lot."

coming into this late, but Steve vs Joe? seriously?? Joe can't even begin to fill Steve's shoes :p

You know you have a toddler when... Going number two on the potty gets the applause of a game winning touchdown. You're often sticky and don't know why. You and your spouse often have debates on whether Little Einsteins or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is more entertaining.

Very much agreed!

:eek: I know this thread is a couple months old but, You know you have a toddler when they poop in their brand new dora panties and then hang them on the laundry room door for you. :eek: My sweet little angel left mom a present.