First Moms, how would you feel about Amom nursing?

Just wanted to let you know that I moved your thread to this forum. Thanks for your understanding.:)

Everyone is going to be different. I wouldn't have been ok with it, and I said so, but I was more educated about adoption than your average expectant parent. My mom breastfed my youngest brother, their bio son, and he was the sickest of all of us, and when I say sick, we almost lost him once. It's such a personal thing, just be honest and upfront.

I'm a birthmom - I would be uncomfortable with this being done. Mainly, just make sure that whatever first mother you enter into adoption with, she is aware of your position on adoptive mother breastfeeding. Since you state it's not for bonding purposes, maybe the birthmom will be willing to pump for you?

I'll chime in here. We are in the process of adoption. Our emom asked me if I would like to consider breastfeeding (she had recently learned that it was a possibility) after the baby is born. She breastfed her first two children and thought it was a very important "health decision" for her. I told her I had not even thought of breastfeeding at all. After having been on so many meds/hormones for infertility, I cannot even thing about taking more hormones in order to be able to breastfeed.

Thanks for the honest answers. I would never do this if birthmom wasn't comfortable with it. I can't imagine keeping something like that a secret. I would be thrilled to use expressed milk, but I doubt that we will be matched with anyone in our area.

I think the most important thing here is to discuss this with the expectant mother you hope to match with. A lot of women out there in the world simply do not know that adoptive breastfeeding is a possibility. I had never even thought about it until I joined up here, and I'm no spring chicken, lol. At first, I was very uncomfortable with the idea. As a birthmom, I would have told you a year ago that I absolutely would not have wanted my son breastfed by his new mom. BUT, I've changed my mind over the past few months, mostly because of a thread started here by Nurse_Reedle. I learned soooo much on that thread, and the knowledge I gained made that "unsettled" feeling go away. If I were in your shoes, I would make sure to carefully explain all of the benefits of breastfeeding to the expectant mom. Education really does relieve a lot of fears and uncertainties, IMHO. :loveyou:

Anyone who has any issue with it should watch this video. It's a bit long. It doesn't take place in America. And it doesn't really discuss the issue at all.But to watch a mother care for another child in this manner is absolutely beautiful. (Long video. Footage I am speaking of is about midway through.)[url=http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=6804291&page=1]ABC News: Salma Hayek on 'Mothers Working Together'[/url]In the end, breastfeeding is amazing for a child. I am a supporter of breastfeeding in general and, as such, I am a supporter of any adoptive mom who wants to attempt the process. It's not an easy process and those who do it have my admiration.

Honestly, I found it creepy and wierd when it was first brought to my attention, and I nursed my dd for 14 months. It just seemed a bit on the freakshow side of life to nurse someone else's child. After really thinking about it though, and seeing the difference it makes in the health of the child, I feel like it is the best choice. I just can't for the life of me imagine this conversation with an emom. I would have flipped out at the idea of another woman nursing my dd even though I was a nursing mom. It is such an intimate thing. (Not that raising someone's baby isn't intimate.) I think that I will include something about it in my profile. That way, emoms can just toss it on the "No" pile if it is too out there and not have to go through the disappointment of thinking that we are the family for them and then having to start over. I have already done that to one poor woman and I don't want to ever do that again. We were chosen by a mother with an agency that we no longer worked with and they didn't know that we had our son. I have never felt so bad. I can't imagine what she went through in choosing us, and then we turned her down. I would rather have a failed adoption again than to do that to someone. On the upside of it all, I will have a lot less trouble than most because I have nursed before and that is very encouraging to me.

I finally weaned my youngest daughter after 3 years and 10 months of a nursing relationship. I don't know how I would have felt when I relinquished my son, but certainly after experiencing that nursing relationship with my daughter, I would think it's a great thing for an adoptive mom to do. I also remember the birthmother posting who was expressing until the amom got her milk going, I really admired her for that! But as pps have said, letting expectant mothers know that that's what you want to do is key!

I pumped for Baby for 5 months. Then when I was really frustrated with pumping, Baby's parents tried to wean her to formula and she had some allergy issues with the regular and they didn't feel comfortable with soy. So Baby's mom induced lactation while I weaned very slowly from the pump and froze as much as possible. Now I'm done with the pump and she's primarily nursing with suplements from my frozen stash. Baby's mom encouraged me in my plan to nurse in hospital (for the health benefits of colostrum to baby and easier recovery physically for me) no matter if I would pump for them or not. Even without colostrum though, human milk is in most cases, better for human babies. They can (and frequently do) thrive on formula too though so I guess I can't add anything except to reinforce that you should discuss it with the e-mom in question.

I hope this works out for you! As you can see just from this thread, there are a lot of women who will be happy to participate in this with you. Bottom line, if you and the emom are in agreement, who cares what people like me think - good on ya:love: & thanks for having the courage to try something a little 'different' that will benefit your baby.

My personal viewpoint as a birthmom and a mom who breastfed the two children I raised: I'd be all for it. I'm for anything that makes the bond between baby and mother stronger. I believe that breastfeeding is best for babies for a multitude of reasons (Before you all shoot me: I also believe that it is a personal decision - you have to really want to breast feed and bottlefed babies certainly thrive as well.)

This is something I've wondered about as well. My sister is a big breastfeeding advocate(she nursed both of her bio sons) and asked me what I plan to do when I adopt, she wanted to see if I needed her to find any information about breastfeeding adoptive children and inducing lactation, etc. I told her I would love to be able to do it, if possible, since it's better nutritionally, but it would have to be ok with the birthmother. If she would be willing to pump, that would be great too, but I don't want to hold her up from moving on with her life either. I would just want to do what is best for everyone, whatever that may be. I don't want to step on anyone's toes and offend or hurt the firstmom's feelings, but if she would be ok with it, I would be ok with it.

Kathy, did you mean to say, "as a mom who breastfed the two children I raised" ? Just clarifying. :)

Isn't that what I said? (She says innocently...after editing the post.) It's amazing what my fingers type sometimes!