Names: Adult Adoptee Opinions

i loved reading about the adult adoptee opinions on name changes. sometimes it is hard to be an adoptive parent bc i am just waiting for a new way i can mess up. lol. but i do regret not keeping part of 2 of my children's birthnames and spend my time now wondering what to do about it. leave it alone and allow them to change their names- to whatever- when they are adults or pay to change their names now adding their given names in as a second middle name? i'm not sure. i always think that part of them will always be "given name here," and i don't need to worry about it....but i know it is because i haven't lived it. i hope i do a better job in other areas....i hope i can instill in my children a sense of culture and ensure they can speak the language of their home country. this is such a hard topic for adoptive parents, bc i know like me, many of us always had the dream of naming a child. i think that is a neat part of parenthood. it is hard to give up. but now sometimes i wish i had and just hope i haven't messed up too much yet. i really appreciate your posts...they are so insightful and always get me thinking. thanks!

Thanks for the post, Summerce. It was very interesting. We did change our daughter's name to one that had special meaning to us, but we left her given name as her middle name, so I hope she will like and appreciate that as she grows older. But, mommytoeli and others, I don't think you need to feel bad or like you've "messed up" if you didn't incorporate your child's birth name into their new name. The important thing is that you honor their heritage and culture, and that can be done in many different ways, not just in what you name them.

INO.as as an doptee it depends on how old the child is and if they are able to respond and identify with their name. Many babies KNOW what they are being called and to change it to something else is hard for the child . Yes, they will adapt but they are already adapting to other things why not keep what they know and the only thing that was "thiers" when they were born. I was 2 1/2 when my parents got me the social worker at the time suggested they keep my name and my brothers(adopted..he was 4) as it was the only solid thing that came with us throught the differnt foster homes. My other brother was 10 days , my parents named him, my sis was 6 mo..they named her. I do understand thouhg if the name is a VERY differnt name that is not very american....I thing then its a great idea to have it be their middle name. It honors who they they are.

yeah...that is what i told myself when i renamed eli (from guatemala)...his given name was different...actually, i had never heard of it before, so i didn't even leave it in as his middle name....and now....well, i actually miss it. lol. i feel weird saying that. but i do. sometimes he calls himself his given name, and i just let him. for now, he thinks it is cool to have an alias. when we renamed him elias, we still gave him what i consider to be a not so traditional american name, that still honored his culture, but i think at the very least, i will give him the option of changing it back, or adding it in, or renaming himself entirely when he is older. i do wish agencies would talk more about the importance of naming with adoptive parents...i honestly had no idea it would be so important.