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Hoooooly Cow...You all know that I've been confused about how we went out to PA for a visit in Jan 08, which went very nicely, but since then J and M have had absolutely no contact at all? The main issue causing conflict between them was about her insistence on the Real Mom title and disagreement about my role in J's life- acknowledging me as his mom rather than just a stepmom/motherish figure.Wellllll, how's this for an ice-breaker after 15 months of total silence? She (M) called Me (me!) to invite Us (meaning J and his nuclear family) out for sis's graduation party this summer! She invited us as a Family. With a personal phone call. To me. I'm floored. In a good way. But still a little stunned. Hubby doesn't know if he can, for a few reasons. I've been trying to get in touch with J, but he's offline (it's still early for a college student...).Wow. edited to add: I finally got a very sleepy J (it's 11:00 am!) and all he said was "Thank you for letting me know." I'll try him later when he's more awake!
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Thanks girls!! I think it's great all around! Honestly not so much for me (though admittedly it did feel good to get that acknowledgment from her) but for J. He needed to be accepted as he was, which included being part of this family. And while that was rejected, he just distanced himself. If things can actually work together nicely I know he'll feel way less stress and confusion about it. I'll be honest, hubby doesn't want to go. He still has scars and he still remembers how awkward it was when she came out here and wouldn't look at or speak to him. I told him she wasn't like that on her own turf at all, but I don't think he trusts it. Plus, I think he fears the anger or resentment of her whole family who has always been told that J was stolen and kept from her. It's probably a lot of what she feared coming out here to meet J two years ago! J was just groggy when I talked to him. She said that an invitation will be arriving, and I'm curious to see if Little J is included as I didn't think to clarify that with her on the phone. I also took the opportunity to ask about the job thing. She just said he was in an interview process and that was all. At least now I know it's true even if the outcome is still unclear.:arrow: