happy hurt

This is my first time on and using this website. My bson located my family in November. From that moment on my life has had a 365 degree turn, good and bad that is for sure. First there was a couple of emails. Then a few phone calls, but they were mostly with his wife. Then I flew 1/2 way accross the country to meet him/them. Went for a long weekend. The Friday night me and my significant other arrived we met both the bson and his wife for dinner. I was absolutely terrified. He was very quiet, looked just like his father. He did something that I do, look over the top of my glasses, and when he did that I thought I was going to faint. So, the wife wanted to meet my whole family (and it is large) over that weekend and I said I would arrange what I could on such short notice. First thing I did was contact my family to see what they were doing. I was able to arrange for the bson to meet my oldest sister and younger brother at the same time, meet my older brother, another older sister and parents the following day. So, we arranged for me to call Saturday morning and go from there with directions and that sort to my brothers house. Well, I called the bdaughter in law that morning, bson was still sleeping (this was around 10). Called back later and he was still sleeping (around 1). We left for my brothers, when I spoke to them again it was about 2:30 and they is 26yrs old, he is 22). Agreed to meet after the party. Well, they didn't get back from the party until after 7 pm and at that point I was tired and started feeling as though they really didn't want to meet with me again. The next day I had arranged to go visit my parents, they live 4 hrs away. Well, he wouldn't go without her (understandable) and she wouldn't leave her kids with his parents for a full day and wouldn't bring them with us. This time my older brother was joining us. Well, I was going to switch and go see my parents on Monday b/c we found out Saturday afternoon that he had to work on Monday (that was a holiday) and we were leaving on Tuesday. So, in debating this and a whole lot of crying (this for a couple of reasons), my other half thought I should stick to our plans and how dare them not make any attempt to spend any time with us. Well I did that even though it was not what I REALLY wanted, but it made sense. Needless to say, that evening he became very sick, her and his mom took him to the hospital. She called me the following afternoon (3pm) to let me know where they were, what had happened and that they (her and his mom) were going back to the hospital. The part about the mom is that his parents wanted absolutly nothing to do with me, which was okay, thought it would take some time. But when I found out that she was going back to the hospital I didn't go. Hence 4 months later, I found out that b/c I didn't go see him at the hospital he had already decided that he never wanted to see me again. He also said the only reason that he continued to have anything to do with me was for her. Needless to say, there was not alot of communicating going on between us and I never really set any boundries. I wish I had found this website then and was able to get some ideas as to what to do, not do, suggestions.....anything. There was more that went on but at the end which was in March of this year, I decided to place some boundries but it was way too late, now I have lost him. When I first read his email about wanting nothing to do with me since the first meeting in November, I had lost it, my heart had been broken. I spent the first week crying all the time, no one could even look at me without me crying, it was horrible. I still cry, not as much only b/c I am trying to let myself move on somewhat. I never responded to his last email, I keep thinking I should but I don't have the courage and don't know what to say. Any thoughts?