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I know that many of you are on here because you are in the middle of a failed adoption and I am soooo sorry. I was there not to long ago. I'm hoping our happy ending will encourage you that there is a child out there waiting for you.
We did a local infant adoption through an agency here in Arizona. We were in the match book for two and a half months and got a call one afternoon saying that we were choosen by a birth mom and our daughter was a half an hour old and we should get to the hospital as soon as possible. From the moment we met her Lydia was our daughter. We named her and I spent every night at the hospital with her unti she was released. Everything was going great we had an open adoption with the birth mom and as far as we knew the birth father didn't want anything to do with the baby. We had Lydia home for three weeks before we got a call from the agency saying that the birth father had stepped forward and wanted to raise his daughter. Saying we were devistated is an understatment. Once we met her father we knew right away that we had been painted a very distorted picture of him and we now know that he had been telling her the whole pregnancy that he wanted to raise her with or without the birth mom. The birth mom is young and tried to go through with an adoption even though she knew that he wouldn't go along with it. We did a transition period for Lydia over a week and then had to give her back permanently.
We went back in the match book right away thinking it would be at least another couple of months before we got chosen. Two weeks later to the day that we had given Lydia back we got a call saying that a birth mom had chosen us and was due within the next two weeks. The birth mom actually ended up going into labor the next morning and we brought home our son a day later when he was released from the hospital.
It really sucked to go through the failed adoption and we still aren't sure why we are a part of Lydia's life. Luckily we are able to still see her and know how she is doing. We know without a doubt that Hildon was meant to be our son and if anything had been different we might not have gotten him. I hope your stories end up even better than ours and if you need to talk to someone who has been there, feel free to PM me.
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This is what I mean when I say hat the baby that God means for you to be yours will find you. While failed adoptions are crushing(I know cause when I was about 6 yrs old be had to give a newborn back) I honestly believe that there is a happy ending.
Your story just confirmed my beliefs. Thank you for sharing. Enjoy your little man.
E
my husband and i just went through a failed adoption 2 weeks ago. to say we are devastated is an understatement. I haven't even been able to return to work, because i cannot face anyone.
It is the most terrible experience i have ever gone through.
Its amazing to read all your posts, and know that I am not alone.
Of course the adoption agencies never talk about this part of the adoption process, but it seems like it happens quite a bit.
We're not even sure what our next step will be. We have soo much money invested in 2 adoption agencies, but are soo frustrated and spent, that we want to give up.
In the next breath, i want to keep the faith that our child is out there.
IF anyone has any encouraging thoughts let me know. I really need to hear it right now.
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