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I just found out that I am pregnant and I don't know what to do. I'm 25 and my boyfriend and I just broke up 2 weeks ago (I think I'm about 6-8 weeks pregnant) and there is no way I'm having a kid with him. Also I can't stand kids so there would be no way I'd keep it anyhow. I had an abortion when I was 17 but I don't really want to do that again. I have read that birth mothers can get some financial assistance from adoptive parents and I was wondering what all that can really include. I work 3 jobs and live on my own, and my work is very physically demanding, so I wouldn't be able to work near my due date. I can barely afford to pay my bills each month and if I missed a single paycheck I'd most likely be living in my car. I don't have insurance, and I have no family support. If I were to give my child up for adoption, could the adoptive parents pay for health insurance, and my full rent while I was unable to work? I saw on some websites that birth mothers have to go into specific housing, there is NO way I would do that. Also, if I gave my child up for adoption, I would love to have it go to a "non-traditional" couple - i.e. older, gay, non-religious, etc - is there a way to find specific parents like that? Every site I've been on has been very religious in nature and that makes me uncomfortable. I myself am adopted and my birth parents requested I be placed in a christian home, and if I ever meet them, there will be a few words exchanged about how THAT worked out. Sorry for the long post but this is just so overwhelming right now, and I know I need to make a decision ASAP.
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I'm sure you can find whatever kind of couple you're looking for. I know we had a lesbian couple here some time ago asking if expecting moms would consider a lesbian couple.
As far as expenses, I don't really know, it gets tricky I think. Payment for a child is not supposed to happen, and paying for rent and insurance and so on can be construed as such.
Another issue with this, is that there is no 100% guarentee that a mother will relinquish, and a lot of potential adoptive parents have put forth financial help and then the mother has changed her mind (as she has the right to do) which can cause big big problems.
I know that 24 years ago when I relinquished there was an agency that would help with medical costs and housing and so on BUT, it was as you said, they provided the housing (I actually think they put you up with PAP, not the ones getting your child, but so that both parties could get more understanding of the 'other side').
It's tricky with financial stuff as there are people who try to work the system on both sides...
This is a super tough time for you! There are no easy decisions or easy ways out. I'm sorry that I can't give you more specific advice. Hopefully some other ladies here can.
I wish you all the best, please let us know how things are going for you.
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My situation is somewhat similar to yours, in that I had broken up with my bf before I realized I was pregnant and had no intention of going back to him. I was still living at home, though, and didn't have to have financial support from the prospective aparents, even though it was available to me.
I would suggest calling a number of agencies and asking them how it all works. If you are uncomfortable with religious-based agencies, see if you can find any non-religous ones in your area. You can also go through a private attorney if there aren't any suitable agencies available to you.
You can certainly select a non-traditional couple if that is your desire.
