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My husband and I started the adoption process through DHS almost 4 years ago. I have tried to be patient but it seems that there is delay after delay or it doesn't work out. Our state has previously frowned upon the foster-to-adopt situation, but recently have become more open to it, however we agree with our worker that unless there is a very strong chance of the child becoming available for adoption it's not the right situation for us.
We have the opportunity to go to committe 5 or 6 times and have declined 3 of those time, we felt we were not the best match for that child and could not give them the kind of support they needed. And losing the committes we did go to has been devistating not only to my husband and I but to our 12 year old son also.
My husband thinks it's time to move on, but my heart won't let me.
Is it normal to have these kind of delays???
Any advice would be wonderful:thanks:
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Wow, I thought we had been waiting long! (7 months- California) God bless you for staying with the process. Are you looking out of state? I'm sure you know more than I do about where exactly to look, but perhaps your profile isn't broad enough? That really stinks that you've been waiting for so very long. I'm sorry to hear that.
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My husband and I had been licensed in WA and wanted to foster-to-adopt. It took a year to actually complete licensing. There was always something that caused delay. Then after becoming licensed. 18 months passed with absolutely no matches at all. No phone calls. Nothing. We were not even asked to do emergency care nor were we ever shown any profiles at all. I felt like we continually slipped through the cracks. There were always changes in the departments, changes to policy. We decided to put our plans on hold.
Then 2 years later we moved to KS and went through licensing and we have been matched with a kiddo. It has been just about a year process here. The biggest difference is that foster/adopt is privatized here.
I can say that even though our experience in WA was discouraging. After taking a break from the foster/adopt plans we ended up realizing just how much we still wanted to do it 2 years later.
Thanks it's nice to know I'm not the only one whose had trouble.
It has been crazy! it took a year and a half for our home study and then our worker went on maternity leave for 5 months and no one took over her duties. This doesn't include all the little things that have happened.
My heart tells me this is the right thing to do so I'' be tough and patient for awhile longer
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How long it takes can depend on a lot of different things - one of which is the level of issues you are willing to take on. If you're looking for a child with few to no issues - the wait will be much much longer. (and my personal opinion is that anyone who tells you a child has no issues coming from foster care, is woefully mistaken). We waited 8 months just to get a call for our first foster placement - another 6 months for our call for our first foster-to-adopt placement. It's been 20 months since then, and a hell of a roller coaster, and we are close to finalization. So that's over 3 years - and we said yes to every placement call. Of course every situation is different, and every state and area may yield different results.