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My adoptive family (sounds strange cause I just think of them as her family)daughters family has contacted me on her behalf. She recently turned 19 and they felt it was time for us to try and meet. Well it caught me off guard, and it has taken me a few weeks to try and respond. Her mom called and told me she was getting kind and moody and nervous waiting for me reply.
I still do not know what to say, or what to expect. It is all happening so fast.
Does anyone have any advice on what to say? Any tipics to avoid? Or should be just play it by ear. I will have my response to her in the mail today and some pictures, but we are planning a phone call next week. I am sure she is just as nervous as I am. I do not want screw this up. I would like to at least get a good enough relantionship going so that she and my son have a chance to figure out themselves what if any relantionship they might have.
I am sorry this is why it is hard for me to respond, I feel like nothing I say makes sense.
Everything you say makes sense and it catches everybody off guard. No adoptee or birth mother wakes up every day and just expects contact from out of the blue. When my birth mother attempted to contact me I was floored and totally unprepared. I passed on contact at that time too. A mistake that I wish I could rectify.
It sounds like you got caught off guard too but in reverse. Reply back and say what you feel without getting too dramatic. If you need some additional time to get your thoughts in order, then let them know. I am sure that they will understand. The one thing that people never understand though is the feeling of being left hanging.
If you've read here you'll know that it is an emotional roller coaster for all involved. Always be honest and above all don't rush things. The reunion can only go as fast as the slowest member feels comfortable in going. To push past that risks hurting the process.
Since she's moody and nervous it tells me that getting to know you is very important to her and that really is heart warming to hear.
So take it slow and enjoy it for all it is worth.
:clap:
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