X-Post: Borderline IQ Question

I adopted a 12 year old girl (now 13) with an IQ in a similar range (tested as 71). It was our biggest concern about her during information sharing as we were worried about her ability to be independent in the future. A year into the adoption it is a non-issue. It does have an effect on her life, but it is by no means her defining characteristic. Her defecits are pretty subtle - people meeting her would have no idea that she has any kind of cognitive delay. She has an incredibly sunny disposition, an easygoing manner and a kind heart (her school principal describes her as "socially gifted"). These are going to be much more important factors in her future success than her challenges will be. She definitely does have challenges. She is in a special education program at her school, and she just finished seventh grade reading at about a grade 3 level. She is also below grade level in her other subjects, but not by as much (she's around grade 4-5 in them). But she has improved by at least 1 grade level in all her subjects this year, so she is capable of learning, just not as quickly as some other kids. She has trouble with breaking down complex instructions and understanding abstract concepts. Her teacher gave an assignment about understanding figures of speech like "it was a piece of cake" and she was baffled by it - she picked the literal meaning every time. She doesn't require any assistance with personal care or day to day tasks. We usually drive her to and from school, but when we can't she is able to walk the ten blocks or so on her own with no problem. She is a very responsible girl and we are able to leave her alone at home for short periods (up to a couple of hours) while we run errands. There is absolutely no reason to believe that she won't be able to hold down a meaningful job as an adult. We have started working on her job skills already, volunteering together once a week at our local food bank sorting food donations. She caught on to the job as quickly as I did, and she likes to "train" new people at it now. She thinks she would like to work with animals when she grows up, and I think she would make a wonderful dog groomer or assistant in a veterinary office. Every child is different, and a child with the same IQ could have very different issues. But our experience with a child with a borderline IQ has been wonderful. Definitely don't let yoursef be scared off by a number.

Thanks for sharing your story. It really does help, and my husband and I will look further into this situation.

The bioMom of our DD has an IQ of about 75. She has been able to graduate HS, is very good a typing and uses the computer pretty well. She does have trouble doing complex or multi-instructional tasks, but she can do jobs like work at a restaurant cleaning tables or answer phones, and even things like data entry. Her biggest problem is that she needs someone to remind her to get up and go to work. She doesn't understand that she must do that every day. She drives and is able to function somewhat independently, but does rely on her own mother to help her stay focused and provide a place to live.