looking for medical info on birth parents. girl born 1/23/1980

Still looking for information.... anyone willing to help

Have you ever tried to order your birth certificate from CA? Your amended one? I just checked ancestry.com and you are not listed in the California Birth Index in either Riverside or San Bernadino? Have you requested your non-id from the state? Kind regards,Dickons

How odd. My amended birth cert says San Bernadino. the only info my adopted parents ever received is a known history of diabetes. Nothing else.

I just got my paper work back from CHS. They are demanding 100 dollars for both my medical and non identifying information. Though even in their own paper work it states I do not have to pay for the medical records. I am soooo mad. All I want is the darn medical records.

How adoption agencies can demand adoptees pay anything for their info is beyond me. Wrong, wrong and more wrong. I am sure someone can find the half hour it would take to find your file, photocopy, redact info and insert into envelope, address and stamp. Here's the thing. Your family medical history that has happened since you were born will not be part of what you get. Your mother and/or father were young as well as aunts and uncles. Chances are pretty good your grandparents at the time were just entering middle age and still healthy. Any future siblings hadn't been born. Ask CC if they are getting you an updated family health history for that kind of money and see what they say. My family health history consisted of two sentences when I was adopted in 1961. Mother in excellent health. Father in good health. By 1980 it might have been more complete in taking histories but it will be old and out of date unless they update it before they send it to you. Kind regards,Dickons

My husband and I were just talking about that very thing. We decided it wasn't worth the money to get anything they might or might not have. Both my adoptive parents have since passed. So I can't even ask them what information they were given at the time. I was to young to think to ask about it. As far as it sounded from the letter there was no updated info.. and the kicker is. It would take 5 to 6 months after I sent in the money for the records they want me to pay for. *sighs*. I really really don't want to invade my birth mother's or father's lives. But I need the info for my own kids. which now it looks like I might have to do.

I know you said you don't want a relationship but are open to it. I had to get my family medical history and give them my medical history for their records. Mine was different as the court approved my records unsealed because I have a rare disease and two major events and the doctors wanted more info on me and for the info to go both ways. After all was said and done I met my aunt and got it without any pressure and it was documented out for me in incredible detail as they figured someone in the family would need it one day and wanted to put it on paper before it was too late. I really connected with my aunt and although we don't have a super close relationship it is wonderful just the same. No conditions or requirements just keep in touch when the mood strikes. It was also nice to get as much of my story as she had. My mother had already passed away. It wasn't an interuption to them - it was we wondered if you would ever look for us. You do have to go into it recognising you may get nothing and if you do that is hard to deal with - that was the outcome on my fathers side. But that is life. Good luck in whatever decision you make. Kind regards,Dickons

I've been having health issues... Nothing it seems as bad as what happen to you. But it having a family history would give the docs more to go on. There is a lot of cancer and heart issues on hubbies side of the family which makes us worry about our girls. having records would help a lot. I go back and forth about meeting birth family. I love my parents and they were awesome. But the both died by the time I was 18. I was to young to care or know to ask about any of this at that time. Since my sister was in charge of all belongings its possible any paperwork there was is now long gone. I don't want to put that on my BIO mom or BIO dad. I really really had an awesome family and childhood. Or feel like they need to step into that role for me or the girls. Does that make any sense at all. I did put in my paperwork for the mutual consent registry. took it out of my hands. I'm still looking into going to the court and asking for the records to be unsealed. I don't know if I have the time or money to do so at this point. I live on the other side of the country right now. Don't know exactly what to do right now. Thank you for your story and insight.

Just like adding a husband and children could not possibly take away your feelings for your mom and dad - adding more relatives - even those with the same familial title - cannot take away your feelings or memories of your mom and dad. Every person and relationship is unique and impossible to replace. The petition to the courts to unseal my records was simply a set of handwritten answers to predetermined questions set out by the courts on a single sheet of paper. If you ever are interested call the county court house where your adoption was finalized. To actually get a copy of my sealed adoption file I had to go there but that was after the judge had approved it. I do not think it cost anything to file the petition - mom did it for me so I can't say for sure but if there was it was minimal or she would have said something as she grew up during the depression and has always lived frugally. Kind regards,Dickons

I'll have to call and find out. no one will replace my parents. But I don't want my bio parent or parents to feel as if they might of made a mistake giving me away because both of my parents passed away. It's the only major thing stopping me wanting to meet my birth family.

No one can predict the future and seeing how good your life is would alleviate their concerns over past choices. You can't take on responsibilty for every scenario they may experience. You only can do what is right for you with grace and awareness of your actions on others. Mom always told me to stop looking for trouble that wasn't there when I worried about things I could not predict. I too am the worry wort in my family who always took things as they came and worked it out. Only do it if you are ready - not before. Kind regards,Dickons

Since you have so little information about your bparents, I suggest you pay the $100 for your non-id. (Some agencies charge much more!) I ordered mine from the CHS office in Los Angeles, and it was 5 pages long. It took about 2 months for them to re-type my information -- they carefully left out all identifying facts. By that time I had already learned my biological identity (some paternal cousins posted a query looking for me by my birthdate). My non-id actually had very little medical information (maybe none was available), but gave the story on my bparents and their circumstances, their jobs, their siblings, etc. I was born in the 50's, so maybe the non-id's contain more medical info now. Two pages of my report consist only of my own medical evaluations in the time I spent in foster care before adoption. Maybe you can ask the adoption agency to clarify for you your county of birth since you don't show up on birth databases. My non-id didn't give any specifics about where I was born -- didn't list any cities or dates. I haven't been on this website for awhile because sometimes I feel I just can't deal with all these adoption issues. But last week I finally met my maternal half-sib who is several years older than me. (My bmom died young). She was reluctant to see me because my re-surfacing opened up a lot of painful childhood wounds, but she agreed to open her doors last week when I driving through her part of the state. (One thing I have learned is to give bfamily lots of time and space to recover from being contacted). I am still a secret to other family members, and my other half-sib continues to refuse all contact. I probably know more now about my maternal bfamily's medical conditions than I would want to know. LOL But I've just seen lots of pictures of my bmom's early days back in Europe (amazing stuff!!!) I finally have an ethnic heritage!!! I also learned that I am like my bmom in many ways -- physical characteristics as well as temperament. Thankfully I haven't had the illnesses from which she suffered, but it's good to be finally able to mention a certain type of cancer when I go in for a physical. Connecting with your bfamily does not mean you are replacing your afamily. Remember you don't have to tell everyone -- I never told my aparents I was searching, and I still have not told my acousins that I have found my birth identity. Sometimes it's better not to broadcast that you're searching because then others will keep asking you how it's going...and you also avoid hurting your afamily members. There's also the possibility that you may never find your bfamily, so you may be worrying in vain. (Are you also listed on all the online adoption registries -- put your info out there, and see if anyone is looking for you). Learning who my bparents were and then trying to connect with my bmom's older children has been very painful -- I have been on the worst roller coaster ride of my life these last 4 years. But now that I have finally met my half-sib, I feel that it was all worth it. I think the meeting went well -- now I don't know what's next -- maybe nothing -- I'm just sitting back trying to absorb all that just happened.

have you found yet? I am helping a friend that was adopted.....she found her bmom already deceased in 2003 and there is another girl and a boy in addition to a female born in san bernardino 1/23/1980......here is her facebook page....let me know ! terri7@verizon.net [url]https://www.facebook.com/messages/653503001#!/desiree.d.minyard[/url]

Thank you so much. We actually kind of put it aside for a while. I've came to the conclusion that I am gonna have to go to the courts to get the info I need. which means being in Cali and not on the other side of the country. I'll defiantly email you.

@J_blackroseI was reading an old thread of your about Ca non-id. I just sent off for mine. Did you ever get yours? I asked about a fee waiver form for the $100 and they said they don't have one but you can write them a letter of financial hardship and they might help. I did that. I'll let you know what happens if you want? Kandis