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We were matched w/ a bmom 7-15 we visited her; we thought we connected w/ her ... we were planning a semi-open to open adoption. She referred to us on many occasions as the babies parents, She wanted us at the hospital w/ her & that is what happened we held our baby girl moments after her birth on 8-04-09 at 5:40am she was born at 35weeks. Placed in an incubator. We sat by our baby girls bedside for 2 days, we held her, comforted her, she was our baby girl our daughter we could finally think about the future w/ a tiny little baby in it; we imagined what holidays would be like w/ a baby girl. We were parents; as stated by everyone the nursery, bmom , & bmom's mom We knew this was going to happen. Then as we were getting ready to return to the hospital the phone rings we hear a sobbing voice.... 'I can't do it...I can't do it, I'm sorry... the adoption is off I'm sorry. ' Our entire world changed in an instant.And just like that it's over. I've dreamed of our baby girl every night since 8-6-09 when we received that phone call when our life changed forever yet again. We're just soooo tired of the heartache & tears. We really thought this time it was 'our turn'. That after 7 years / 4 mc's - we would finally be a family. Guess we were wrong again. :( I just miss our baby girl... I miss the life we could have had... & I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of having these dreams of what should have been.
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i wish there was something I could do/say to just make things right for you. Before I came along, my parents went through a failed match (it was a blonde-haired blue-eyed boy--my mom's DREAM). After taking some time to deal with their grief, my parents accepted the next match for them and that is how I joined the family (I'm my mom's brown-eyed girl--you know, like the song lol).I know it is hard to think about now and it is very cliche but the right child for you WILL come. I was adopted after my parents' failed match and our family is strong and all of us are happy and close. 'Your turn' will come, just give it time.Again, I'm sorry you are hurting so much (I can't even imagine the pain) and I wish there was something more I could say.I send you my prayers and (((hugs)))
UPDATE: Holidays were very hard for my dh he just wanted them to be over...
they were hard on me as well but I tried not to think of them. ...............
Yes we are STILL waiting. :mad:
Our adoption contract officially expired it's over 2 years 6 weeks we've been waiting.
A total of 8 years ttc #1:mad:& 4 :wings: later.
The good news they're still looking for an emom for us even though we are out of contract.
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I'm so sorry. We waited for almost 3 yrs to adopt our son (and went through 2 failed placements with that process). I turned to a referral service, and within two months we had our son. We are waiting for our next baby, and just went through another failed adoption just two weeks before Christmas. She was going to be the daughter we had been waiting for. Christmas was hard...but I had to make it through it as to not ruin it for our two boys. My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Just know, if you stay with it, something WILL happen. Positive thoughts to you!Michelle
We haven't given up it will happen when it is supposed to.
Now we are looking toward 'older child adoption' We sent out 50 or so homestudies to perspective kids caseworkers ... we're waiting to hear word about a sibling girls- 9years & 7years a decision on ACouples will be made feb 3 2010. & it may be us!! Also we haven't given up on NB adoption either... it's just a matter of what will happen first. :clap:
Thank you all for your thoughts & prayers. :)
My Husband and I have been right where you are at minus getting to see the child. We never got to hold him in our arms. This was Oct 08 and I can say it took a good year for me to finally let it go and move on. Not forget just move on.
Since we were home study ready we went to office of child services in our area shortly after the failed adoption and with in 6 days of our first visit there we had a 4 year old girl in our home. That was Jan 09 and we adopted her in Sept 09. I will tell you 100 % older children even 4 are very hard to raise.
Even being so young our daughter has experienced so much and was very angry about it. This has been the hardest and resently most rewarding year of our lives.
We have tried for 8 years to have a child and we are happy with our daughter and ready to start on the road for number 2 we are hoping to NOT have another failed adoption I am not sure how much more heartache I can handle.
:hissy:
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