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I also posted this on the Adult Adoptee Forum -
My bmother's public website seems to be making the rounds in the adoptee world. The past week, I've been asked quite a few times about it. I've been asked 'what happened', 'did they catch the rapist?', 'did you really post sexual messages about her 80 year old mother?' -- I've been on the phone more in the past week than in the past six months. I'm waiting for Verizon to inform me that my phone is having unusual activity! So, in an effort to slow down my need to repeat myself, I posted some of my answers on my blog. Here's my posting...
Standing Up from (some, not all) Untruths Written About Me
Im stuck in the house, in rainy New Jersey with a sick kid, trying to decide if I should defend myself from some very untrue statements that were made about me on my birthmotherҒs public website. I guess that I was never taught nor developed the skill to ignore things. I was actually taught the more you ignore things, the more they fester and the more infectious they become.
I dont have the will to reread everything and point out every untruth about me. I did some similar, fierce writings years ago -- Thank You, God it was before the Internet. I did them at the guidance of my therapist. We went through my very emotional writings and had a ceremonial burning of them.
There are some errors that really shocked me. I didnҒt think that I was shock-able, but the past few months have changed my thought about that! The first error that I just feel compelled to correct is I have never posted anything sexual about anyone, ever, especially my birthmother֒s 80 year old mother. I dont know what she is referring to, what website she allegedly got this from, or how she reached the conclusion that I was the person posting this Җ whatever it is. Any website Ive ever made has had my childrenҒs pictures in it and is G-rated.
Ive NEVER met Social Worker Nancy. I wouldnҒt know her if she rang my doorbell. I spoke to her on the phone years and years ago. Thats it. She didnҒt divulge great secrets. The medical information from Catholic Charities wasnt even correct. They were kind (?) enough to call me after giving me the false info and told me to cross out that line because it didnҒt apply to me.
I AM an Adoptee, NOT an Abortion. There is a big, big difference. If the website builder doesnt know the difference between a live birth and an abortion, well Җ look it up or ask your parents.
I have never stalked nor threatened her or anyone. I am sure she would've pressed charges against me at a drop of a hat if I had ever done anything close. Besides a copy of the first letter I sent her years ago, I saved copies of everything. My family and friends have all seen them, read them and there is nothing threatening in anything. Ive never met her. To my knowledge, IҒve never seen her although there was one time in Cracker Barrel I was really, really wonderingօ. But that was before she put her face on CBS-NY News and in the Philly newspapers, so who knows. I certainly donŒt.
I did find my sisters and other maternal family members. As far I know, she doesnt own these adults and they are free to speak for themselves. She obviously finds this offensive, which is her opinion, but there was nothing illegal about it. The people that I found are all easily find-able on the Internet. IҒm not talking about paying a site to go thru records, Im talking about listing themselves on classmates.com or similar websites.
I canҒt grip her rage at me. I was not brought up in an atmosphere of fear and shame. My adoptive father did not teach me to be ashamed, hang my head and avoid looking people straight in their face. He taught me the opposite. He stood up for himself, even when it was difficult. He told me the truth, even when a lie wouldve seem to be much easier. He looked me in the eye, so I knew he was telling me the truth and I could depend on what he said.
The TRUTH Җ ahhhh, untwisted, unadulterated nothing like it. And God Grand Me the Courage To Change Things I Canօ.
Posted by ElaineP at 7:04 AM
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