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I'm a firstmom in a semi-open adoption (with the chance for more) and I'm working on my first letter for both my son and his aparents, but I have no idea where to start. Obviously I'm nervous about writing to J's aparents, I don't want to come off as "too much" and make them uncomfortable, so I was wondering if you all could help me out a little.
What would you, as aparents, want in that very first letter? Anything that you definately would not want?
Oh and a little background on our relationship; I've never actually met or talked to J's aparents. The first time I met with the anyone from the agency we placed with was at the hospital after J was born and the placement was a big surprise for them. So outside of the social/medical history packet that I filled out they don't really know anything about me.
Hi,
I'd want to hear about the conception and pregnancy and birth. Any details you felt comfortable sharing from details about the birth father and the relationship you had (or have) to foods you craved while pregnant and when you felt the baby first kick to how long your labor was and your impressions of the baby when you first saw him/her. These are very personal things but I would love to know some of these details so I could share them with my kids when they are older. Also, what your life was like growing up, family, neighborhood, interests, fun times, etc. Other random things like favorite foods, favorite movies/books/tv/music, favorite color, favorite fun things to do.
I'd love as much info as possible! Maybe that would bother some aparents but how cool to know some of that info! We have OAs and I hope my kids' birth moms and birth dad will share some of that stuff with them in person.
Good luck with the letter!
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I think I'd want my first communication from my child's bmom to just be a bit more about herself. Write about your childhood, your favorite things, your first memory, music, any talents you have, hobbies, sports etc. Talk about what you hope for your/their child and how you felt they were the right parents for him because of x or y or z and you look forward to hearing from them.
To me that would open the door a bit to further communication where they can find some common ground or interests that you can build off of.