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Hi All,
DH and I have spent a great deal of time learning about, and talking about open adoption, and we believe that it offers a great opportunity to all parts of the triad, but most of all, to the child.
We have recently shared our desire to have an open adoption with our social worker, who works for an agency that mainly has semi-open adoptions. She felt that our opportunity to match would be limited by our "pro-open" position. In fact, we had to spell out what we envision, so that she could share it with an expectant couple who is expressing interest in us. I think it's a little awkward for this to come from us, and not from the agency.
My question to you: How did you find out about open adoptions? Did you work with agencies that promoted open adoptions, or did you come to that decision with the adoptive family that you eventually selected?
I'd appreciate any insight that you can provide!:thanks:
The agency I used (who has a really great OA reputation, for the most part) didn't counsel me at all on OA - in fact, we never even talked about the level of contact, as it wouldn't involve the agency, thus, they didn't feel they should be involved unless asked by the parties.
My daughters intended parents were the ones who brought it up - and even though I'd grown up in OA personally and had personal experience with it - I always thought my situation was unique and not something that was regularly done in adoption.
I'd say, if your agency is saying that you're going to have a hard time finding a match that you want using them, then maybe you're using the wrong agency :)
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Our agency suggested a semi-open adoption that they touted as an open adoption. Pictures and letters. It was my daughter's adoptive dad that broached the subject of a fully open adoption.
Amom popping in...the agency we used counsels all prospective aparents in open adoption. They will not work with adoptive couples who will not agree to openness, although the level of contact can vary greatly depending on the situation (ie, if a birthparent is incarcerated or in a situation that would put the afamily at risk). ONly birthparents can request a closed or semi-open adoption. Many adoptive families choose not to work with them because of their position on openness.
Before I was even pregnant I had read Dan Savage's book about adopting his son--that's how I found out about adoption. When I got pregnant, I found the book and then went to the website of the agency he used.
I found out about open adoption from a book I read while I was pregnant and then looked for an agency that could help me find what I was looking for.
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